Randy's Journal (February 2007)
Note to readers of these entries: There are many
grammatical, punctuation and typing errors. It would be incredibly time
consuming to go through each entry and correct the mistakes, so I ask
that the reader please forgive me of these errors. Each entry goes
through several hands in the process of getting my words from death row
to your computer screen in a timely fashion. Thank you for your
patience. I hope you will enjoy my writings.
February 04, 2007
I need to get back to a normal sleep schedule.. Ever since I was moved
to
F-pod this past Wednesday I haven’t been getting to bed until about
3-4 in
the morning. I’ve been staying up, chatting with my neighbor and
such.. I’m
starting to feel it. I keep forgetting I’m not eighteen years old
anymore.
I’m almost thirty years old for crying out loud (Why does that seem
so.. old?
Haha) I can remember when I was just a child and thinking people who
were
thirty were old farts.. Ah yeah, life through the eyes of a child. I
miss
that!
Not much has been going on this week. Probably why I haven’t done any
writing in my journal. Though, there was an incident here on our
section
that started at about 9:45 A.M. or so.
They had just passed out lunch and a guy upstairs “jacked” the food
slot.
Basically, what that means is, he stuck his arm out the rectangular
portal
in our cell doors. This is an effective tactic to get a ranking
officer
down to the pod, because usually when you ask the normal floor
officer,
he’ll refuse to get a sergeant. So this is one of the few ways to get
him
to come to the pod.
Well, there is this real.. hmmm, how do I say this nicely?? This real
jerk
of a sergeant, named Brown. He loves to stir up trouble and curse at
people
and in general just be a true ass. Very unprofessional. He comes to
the
pod cursing and screaming and making threats against the inmate
instead of
just trying to hear what the issue at hand might be…For whatever
reason,
sergeant Brown felt that the inmate was just trying to get moved to
another
cell on the other side of the pod and so he says, “Oh yeah, I’ll move
your
fucking ass to a cell on this section, but your bitch ass ain’t going
anywhere else. I ain’t falling for it..” Well, the inmate says, “Since
you
don’t want to talk to me with sense, I refuse to give up this slot.
To make a long story short, the riot team is called and the guy is
gassed
and forced out of his cell. This is what I mean when I talk about how
things escalate and go beyond what it needs to be. This is pretty much
the
standard stupidity of TDCJ and the people they place in authorities
positions. It’s not ignorance. It’s stupidity; plain and simple.
I was listening to the radio earlier and heard a song I hadn’t heard
in
years, “Groove Is In The Heart” by Delight.. It brought back a funny
memory
from school in Kentucky. I can’t remember if I’ve written about this
before
or not, but I enjoy the memory, so I’ll tell it again.
It was autumn of 2004 (*NOTE FROM THE PERSON TYPING THIS…I THINK HE
MEANT
1994*). Me and my friend had decided to have a fun game of kick ball
and so
we made our own teams, and one of my friends Jim designed and drew us
team
logos onto t-shirts.
We went down to the baseball field with a boom box, some sodas,
blankets and
planned to spend the day down there.
The game of kick ball was full of energy, what made it even more fun
was
heavy metal was playing and so we would mosh mid game, wrestling
around,
horse playing and in general being teenage boys. As the games went on
they
became more aggressive and some players would rush at the pitching
mound on
purposely bad throw. This would kick off a wrestling free for all
between
both teams.
I think Matt, my roommate realized the heavy metal was contributing to
the
aggressive vibes of the game so he stopped everyone and said, “Guys,
guys!
We need to chill and I got the cure for some good lovin’ fun” He put a
new
CD on and a familiar bass line blasted through the speakers. “Groove
Is In
The Heart” began to play and we were all like “Oh….yeah!” The game
lightened up and soon we were all laughing and hugging each other.
We stayed on the field until dinner came and we were all very hungry.
No
one wanted to go back to the dorms to put on pants (one of the dining
room
rules was one couldn’t wear shorts in the cafeteria) and no one wanted
to
smuggle food out and take it to the ball field. Someone suggested we
wrap
our blankets around our waist and maybe we’d be aloud in. We all
agreed it
was worth the try, plus it was funny as hell.
We all walked up to the cafeteria with blankets wrapped around our
waist.
Mr. Gibson was a cafeteria monitor and he looked at us and someone
said,
“C’mon! Our legs are covered up!” Mr. Gibson thought for a second and
then
said, “eat and leave. No hanging around.”
We walked inside and needless to say turned a lot of heads. We thought
we
were so cool. Haha.
In other news, my new MySpace page is up at
MySpace.com/Peace__Love__Compassion. I think it looks really good. A
much
different look from the original page. This one is more geared towards
being an activist page for anti-death penalty stuff. My friend did a
really
good job. It’ll be evolving as the weeks go by and I’ll bring myself
back
into, but for now we’re trying to keep a low profile.
I’m listening to KDOL and “The Shout Out Show” right now. I can’t wait
to
hear my friends. Last week a special friend had her kids say hello and
man,
it just about melted my heart. It was so cute and touching. It’s small
things like that that make you feel normal, human, warm inside, alive.
I
can’t really explain it, but you want those sort of connections that
left up
your soul.
The super bowl is on tonight and so I’m going to let my neighbor
listen to
it with me since he doesn’t have a radio. I’m pulling for the
Indianapolis
Colts. I’ve got 200 push ups betted on the game. I hope they win =)
Guess I’ll stop this for now.. I’ve got a feeling more madness will
ensue
later around dinner. Some guys are still upset over the incident
earlier
today. We shall see.
Round two. Another man just jacked the food slot. Right now they’re
going
to get the gas and riot team. The guards are pissed because it’s
almost
shift change plus it’s their “Friday” and right before the super bowl.
Craziness!
Here comes the riot team. They just gassed him, at 4:11 p.m. They’ve
now
gassed him with two canisters. If this isn’t excessive force I don’t
know
what is- truth of the matter the inmate was only trying to get a
matter
discussed with a ranking official. Instead they have used gas two
times.
Absolutely wrong. Stupid. Pure stupidity.
The gas is now heading this way. My nose is running and my throat is
burning. I’m not coughing yet, but it feels like (they just gassed him
a
third time! Jesus!) an itch in the back of my throat…It’s 4:30 p.m.
right
now. Is this a stalemate or standoff. 4th time at 4:34 p.m. Gas has
been
utilized. They’re now using the gas as a punishment because they knew
he’s
part of the non-violent movement. They could pull him out of the cell,
but
they just keep gassing the dude. This sick absurdity.
Okay, I’m coughing now and my eyes are getting blurry from tears.
There’s a
visible pump of gas in the environment agh, I gotta stop writing I
just keep
coughing. The riot team just burned off and a woman holding a camera
and a
sergeant is still in front of the dudes cell. As of now, they’ve not
used
any physical force.
Sergeant Brown 4:50 p.m. and now is suited up as if he’s going to be a
part
of the team. Wow. This is becoming quite comical. Brown is a very big
obese man. The rest of the team came back in and they were about to
open
his cell door to use force- BUT!!! The door is jammed. Brilliant! 4:54
p.m. They just entered his cell and are now beating him up. Some one
is
yelling “stop resisting!” How in the hell can you resist in a small
cell
and seven men beating the snot out of your ass? Ah shit I can hardly
breathe..
Okay, it’s 5:11 p.m. and the ventilation has just been turned on to
suck the
gas off of the pod. Man, it was getting bad.
It’s 7:46 p.m. now. The Colts are winning so far 19 to 14. After the
game
I’m going to sleep. I’m worn out.
I think that does it for today. Gotta say goodnight especially to my
Hawaiian princess!
Peace. |
February 05, 2007
Today was a day with real jerks working. Officer M. the number one of
them
all. I don’t use his full name because he’s a real vindictive person.
What
I’m hoping is if TDCJ officials read this that they’ll put two and two
together. Anyways he works “One card first shirt” and was on F-pod
today
2/5/07..
So, officer M. has this little “hit list” of about 10 people he hates
and
it’s guaranteed that if he’s working the pod you can guarantee that if
you’re on his list, you won’t get recreation, a meal or a shower. He
will
not give them to you. What I don’t get is why the ass is even allowed
to
work in TDCJ in the fist place, when last summer he was suspended for
trying
to break an inmates arm…apparently him and an inmate had words, so at
lunch
time when the inmate stuck his hand out with is cup to get juice
officer M.
grabbed his arm and forced it down over the slot…which makes me
believe that
the only language TDCJ (Texas Department of Criminal Justice) knows is
violence. I mean, look at the events of yesterday as a prime example.
If
the state hires jerks like him and others no wonder we have prisons
like Abu
Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay. Violence, hatred- they’re like diseases.
They
are a disease that incubates and grows and spreads through weak
minds..
Other than officer M. and his following toady guards, the day was
quite
beautiful. Sunshine poured through my window and I was pretty
productive.
Right now I’m just listening to the radio, waiting for mail to
come….Being
that I received none on Friday, I should hopefully get some today.
Maybe
something from my brother Jimmy- I’m praying for a message from him…I
really
really hope.
Peace. |
February 06, 2007
Today has started off quite exceptional…It’s 8:16 a.m. and while I’ve
only
had about 4 hours of sleep.. due to a rowdy neighbor cussing out the
guards
all night long, I’m in very high spirits. See, I received something
very
special this morning from the mail room and it really has touched the
depths
of my heart.. I feel so…special? Loved? Obviously, I’ll cherish this
for
time to come…I feel like I’ve been sucked into a whirlwind. It’s all
happened so fast, yet it doesn’t feel wrong. Not awkward not bad.
Maybe a
little scary, as it can be sometimes when your heart has been broken
before.. But.. Well, in this one book I got there’s a passage and it
says,
“Some how, out of all the twists and turns our lives could have taken,
and
out of all the changes we might have missed, it almost seems like we
were
given a meant-to-be moment…that turned out to mean the world to
me..AHHH!
I’m falling…falling….
-Thanks for making my heart sing, M.- (Yeah, you know who you are =) )
I’ll be going to recreation in a few minutes. I’m going to exercise
and
think for a while. When I come back I wanted to write about a
disgusting
news report this news channel CBS 11 doesn’t even try to disguise it’s
blatant bias’ in its self righteous reporting. It was a report on the
Texas
parole system…Completely misleading any factually incorrect. Oh, an
example
of how biased this news station is- On a report for some strip clubs
the
reporter began it by saying, “For some, one persons trash is anothers
treasure…” I was like “WHAT?” More to come when I return.
It’s now 9:40 p.m.. My day got past me.. I was just moved to B-pod and
so I’ll
have to write tomorrow. Gotta get cleaning.. ugh.
Peace. |
February 07, 2007
Yesterday I mentioned a report on the news about the Texas Parole
System.. It
had me really upset and I’m still fuming over the idiocy of it..
Basically
the report implied that TDCJ ( Texas Department Of Criminal Justice )
was
allowing inmates to parole early. Of course every inmate released is a
“
Violent Criminal “. Now, the way the current system works is on any
violent
offense i.e., robbery, assault, murder, capital murder pre-2005 ( any
capital crime after 2005 is death of life with out parole ) rape
etc…you
have to complete half or more of your sentence to be eligible for
parole.
So, say you went out and assaulted a person today you received a 30
year
sentence, you would not be eligible for parole until you’ve served
fifteen
years. There’s no such thing as “ Good time “, even though we’re
supposed
to be able to receive it for good behavior, work, school etc. Most of
the
time on violent offenses you will serve no less than 80% of that
sentence.
However, due to over crowding and courts seemingly giving out life
sentences
for everything under the sun, the system is stacking up a myriad of
problems
forcing parole to release those who have served half of their sentence
and
who have behaved in prison during their time.
Unfortunately, the media can’t see the forest for the trees and they
want to
sensationalize the story and put unnecessary fear into the hearts of
good
citizens, “Could you be living next to a killer? Find out at ten in
our
special investigative report!” Why don’t they offer real solutions or
how
about reporting on why the state does not focus on rehabilitation or
why the
state continues to cut programs for drug abuse, violence or anger
management. Why have they not reported how the state has limited
access of
chaplain services from churches and other religious organizations and
programs.. and don’t say it’s because of the ACLU, as some might do..
The ACLU
is not against religion, they just want equal services to all
prisoners and
religions…The truth of the matter is people can hollar and cry foul
that too
many people are being released or the sentences given to offenders
aren’t
lengthy enough, but they never seem to think about the long term
effects.
How many more prisons need to be built? How do you cover the medical
costs
as prisoners age and are diagnosed with an alarmingly growing rate of
hepatitis and type 2 diabetes? Do you just want to punish, or offer a
shot
at redemption and to serve the community successfully?
Or you can just turn on your T.V. and watch the media frighten you
with
ignorance.
That’s my sermon for the day =) Peace. |
February 08, 2007
My attorney came today. I wasn’t expecting a visit from him until the
end
of the month. I was actually asleep when the guards came to my door to
escort me to the visitation building. I hopped out of bed in a daze,
half
ass brushed my teeth and rinsed my face and sloppily got dressed.
He came to drop off an affadavit for one of my co-defendants for them
to
sign, basically saying that had my attorneys from my trial asked him
to
testify on my behalf, he would have. ( This is to show negligence from
my
original attorneys..) Also, in the affadavit he would swear that I
never
pulled or shot a gun and that I didn’t expect anyone to be killed. I
would
post it up, but right now it’s confidential, but as soon as I can, I
will.
I just hope my co-defendant signed it. My attorneys stroked his ego (
and
he does have a massive meglo maniac head! ) So hopefully he’ll be
willing to
help.
All in all it was a good meeting.
Much of the rest of the day has been spent reading Al Gore’s book, “
An
Inconvenient Truth” which was also turned in a what’s been touted as
an
excellent and shocking documentary. The book is really good and breaks
down
the whole global warming issue. It gives charts, pictures of seas,
lakes,
icebergs, glaciers taken years ago and comparing them to now. I highly
recommend reading it.
Peace. |
February 11, 2007
It has been a bad weekend up until now.. I just received such a
wonderful,
heart melting message from KDOL and ditto, all the way!!! I swear,
this
girl is doing crazy things to my head and heart. Haha. It’s definitely
not a bad thing! I feel like I’ve been reawakened after a year. It
feels
good.
Well, up until now, the weekend sucked. I totally broke a radio and
had to
pay for it to be replaced. I had such confidence in my skills!! Now,
my
little Mr. Fix it bubble has been burst. I won’t get into details, but
know
that I feel like such an idiot. Oh well.. Maybe I’ll redeem myself
with
another one here in a short while. Then, I’m going to listen to the
Grammys. I hear the group “ The Police “ are back together. That’ll be
cool to hear.
Peace. |
February 12, 2007
Man.. The craziest thing was just uttered by a nurse who does insulin
shots
for the diabetics on this pod…As she was passing down the walk way, a
guy in
the day room, recreating jokingly and good naturedly said, “Hey, what
about
my shot?” She muttered a disgusting comment (It happened at 2:54 P.M.
as I
documented the time..) “They’ll give you a shot when it’s time to
die.”
Implying the lethal injection. I don’t think he understood what she
said,
but I understood completely and went to my cell door and said, “What
is your
name? How can you utter something when your primary job is the well
being
of others? You call us sick, but listen to your own words.” A guard
told
me to chill out, but I was so pissed! I’m gonna find out her name and
once
I do, I’m putting it in this journal and I’m going to ask that
complaints be
filed against her. I’ll write a grievance also. How can you work in a
medical profession and then make a comment about killing someone?
Demented.
That’s south east Texas for you..
I went to recreation real late, but it was nice, because it was sooo
quiet.
I got a beautiful Valentines Day card that had me smiling from ear to
ear
and came back, showered and after I type this up I’ll catch some Jay
Leno
and South Park. I’ve gotta get up at six to go outside. I can’t stay
up
too late.
Good night and Peace. |
February 13, 2007
Ugh.. So tired! I Just got done cleaning my cell and getting things in
order
in case I am to be moved here in about an hour or so. I’m ready to go
so
long as it’s not E-pod or F-pod, but I’m probably jinxing myself. For
some
reason or the other they’re not giving us showers today. Nobody has
given a
legitimate explanation, but the water is just fine, as my sink water
is
running both hot and cold.. Hmmm.
I got about four hours of sleep last night and then got up at six in
the
morning. I’m hooked on listening to this cartoon “ South Park “. It is
so
funny. Nothing is sacred. Sure, the humor can be infantile and potty
mouthed, but some of the episodes are really a stroke of comedic
brilliance.
Not much else is going on.. Just waiting to see if I’m moved. If
anything
exciting happens I’ll write more. If not, I think this is going to be
it
for the day. I’m really tired and I need to catch the world news..
Peace.
11:15 P.M. I was moved to A-pod. Cool section. Love it here. Next to
my
buddy Jeff =)
Peace. |
February 14, 2007
It’s valentines day and I’m sitting here at a little after five in the
afternoon waiting for the special valentines show they are going to do
on
KDOL. It’s pretty cool that they will be doing this for the guys on
Polunsky Unit. Pretty darned special.
I was moved last night and right next to a good friend Jeff and
another dude
I’m pretty tight with. Ving. Jeff is insane! He’s a devout Christian.
But this guy has the biggest sense of humor I’ve ever known. He’s sooo
funny and tells the craziest stories of his times in the Marine
corps.. He’s
a great guy.
Ving is a black dude and he has it very hard here. I say that because
he’s
well educated and “acts white” I say he’s secure with who he is and is
as
an individual. I had a friend like him at school in Kentucky, anyways,
because he’s himself, most of the black dudes won’t associate with
him, nor
the white guys.. Pure stupidity. I’d say ignorance, but they know
better.
So, Ving has been in a constant depression and he has no family
support and
I really feel for him. He’s a really good artist and write also..
Prison
sucks. Death row sucks more.
Yea!!! I just received a beautiful Valentines greeting and I’m all
smiles
right now. So glad everything worked out. Falling, Falling
falling…It’s so
insane!
Guess I’ll close on cloud nine. Peace. |
February 15, 2007
I’ve just been relaxing today, kind of in a writers funk. I shouldn’t
even
be wasting my time with this entry.. Yet, here I am. So much on my
mind not
knowing how to get it all out. I wish I could just let it pour, but
the
faucet of thoughts has been turned off and tightened down with a
monkey
wrench. Mail is all messed up too. Why do they keep messing with my
mail?
Peace. |
February 18, 2007
Wow.. We’ve had two days of sunshine. It’s been so nice! Yesterday I
went
outside with Ving and we exercised for a little bit and then just
enjoyed
the nice weather. It’s been super cold here lately and the sun sparse.
I’m
just glad to have had that moment out in the sun. We were going to
play a
little ball, but could only manage three games, as it was too cold. I
really need to start jogging and getting back in shape. I’ve got an
important visit to get ready for =) =) =) =) Geeze, it seems like it’s
just right around the corner.
Today has been sort of boring. I wish I had something of substance to
write
about, but I really don’t.. I’m not unhappy- on the contrary I’m very
happy
right now and I’m enjoying my time with a woman I’ve been writing for
a bit
now and while it seems everything is happening so fast, she’s amazing
and
gorgeous and I’m really smitten. Under a spell.. It still scares the
crap
out of me, though.. Maybe I’m holding back a little.. Hmmm. Well, it
is what
it is and if is meant to be it will be..
I’m going to spend the rest of the evening reading so this is it for
today.
Peace. |
February 19, 2007
Today is a bogus holiday- Presidents day. Things have been super slow,
I
had a really good exercise and a funny thing happened as I was
jogging. I
got called “The White Devil” !! by a dude. Crazy stuff. This one
female
guard has left her post and has been hanging out with this guard
working the
pod. Young love, I guess. This place is sooo high school. She’s nice
so I
wont write negative things about the two, but still you would think
with all
of the various escapes and problems they’d be a little less
complacent. Tax
payers money hard at work.
Guess I’ll close here. That’s all to report. Peace. |
February 20, 2007
Last night I was moved to D-pod. I keep coming back to the same cell!
I've
been in three cell about 6 times since I came off of level 2 back in
November. I don't mind where I'm at, though there is one guy here that
tends to get on my nerves. A chronic masturbator of sorts.. ugh. He
lives
in self delusions that every female guard wants him.. Sheesh.
This pod is pretty nasty and there seems to be an influx of may flies
everywhere. I've seen about ten or twelve in my cell and I try to
chase
them out, as I really don't like squashing them anymore, but I have a
strong
dislike of bugs- they freak me out. I don't know why. Childhood fear
or
something.
Not much else happening around here.
Peace. |
February 21, 2007
Man, what in the world is up with my cards??? I've been waiting since
January to get them.. I had found out that we could order cards from
within
and I love cards, always have and I love sending them to friends and
such.
I wonder if the mail room is just holding them? It's frustrating. Do I
write the mail room or the company?
It's later now. Don't know why I wrote the above paragraph, but I
did.. talking out loud, I suppose. Good news!!! My brother Jimmy
responded
to a message I wrote to him, after a friend had found him. It was
awesome
and wonderful to hear from him. It's been over 11 years. Most
importantly,
he forgives me. That means so much to me and I know the kid probably
has a
huge and kind heart. Awesome. I'm just so happy about this and look at
it
like it's one step closer to a full family reconciliation and reunion.
I
want for that to happen so badly. I think I would feel as if my life
came
full circle if that happened. Heck, just to have my fathers
forgiveness and
for him to see who I am now. That would be many prayers answered.
Uh oh.. another may fly headed my way. LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M TRYING TO
TYPE
LITTLE BUG!!! Haha, as if the sucker can read this. Well, they don't
seem
to understand verbal warnings too well, either.
Peace! |
February 23, 2007
It's Friday and I'm sitting here just letting my mind wander. Kind of
in a
daze. It had been so nice the last few days and then another rain
storm
came in. I think spring may be here a little early. I'm sick and tired
of
rain. I think I already wrote this, once, but when I was younger I
used to
love gloomy days. I was comfortable feeling depressed, if that makes
sense.
In Kentucky, at school, I'd go up to my room, put on the Cure's
"Disintegration" album and get lost in the music. Then, I found The
Cure's
"Pornography" album and talk about manic depressive music! I'd
literally
lay my head in between two speakers and turn out the lights..
But now, living with so much gloom and doom it gets old real fast. I'm
all
about the happiness and love : ) I still like depressing music, ‘cause
I
think a part of me will always have that (unless I was on meds. Haha)
encoded in my DNA. I just want blue skies and sunshine! Lots of it!
I tell you what.. Now that it's warming up, I'm ready to get back into
the
groove of playing some ball. I really need to get out and run. Ever
since
I came off of level 2 I feel as if I gained about ten pounds. I was
doing
so good for a while and now I'm getting a little belly again : ) I
started
working out again, so it's all good. I've got to get back in shape for
my
Hawaiian goddess : ) : ) I'm pushing it really hard.
Guess I'll end this here. I'm just jumping around. Maybe we'll have
sunshine tomorrow. |
February 24, 2007
Oh, glorious Saturday : ) The sun is out, it's warm and bright. I just
got finished writing a good piece I'll include with this entry. It's
about
the lack of compassion in dealing with guys who have execution dates.
They
really do those men wrong when it gets close to them being murdered.
I'm sitting here looking at some new photos my Hawaiian friend sent of
her
and her children. Such a beautiful family. The picture radiates warmth
and
love. Love it.
I still need to go to recreation today, I think I probably will around
four
P.M. The day is still young.
Not much happening around here. I say that a lot, huh? It's funny,
because
a lot of people use the movie "Ground Hog Day" as a metaphor on our
lives,
and I have to say it's pretty much true. It could even be considered
as a
syndrome, I'd say. Everything is the same (awww shit, damn chronic
masturbator is in the day room : ( I've got to block my cell window
for
two hours so I don't see him doing his 'thing'.)
Guess I'll close here. I'm going to do some reading and maybe write on
some
other things. I've got a real good idea for a short story I'm going to
call
"Reflections" about twins, one on death row, one free.. I did an
outline, so
we'll see where it goes.
Peace. |
February 25, 2007
It's a beautiful Sunday morning. I'm sitting here listening to "This
American Life" and getting caught up on work. I didn't really have
much to
write for today. Though, I wanted to include a couple of pieces of
information I found out over the past few days..
First, in regards to the nurse who made the pro-death penalty comment,
her
name is Ms. Curry. She works for the corrections division of UTMB
(University of Texas Medical Branch) which has a contract with most
county
jails and the Texas Department of Corrections.. There are a few nurses
with
her attitude and I've made it my personal goal to see that her
comments are
addressed. I don't know how you can be a profession of healing and
express
pro-death penalty comments.
Second, I'm including a little interview I did in which a guy here who
is my
neighbor right now, claims he saw a brief part of a video of the
execution
of a guy named Gary Graham. I cannot verify this, but I'm working hard
on
it. Still, I found his words seemingly disturbing and very honest.
Here it
is:
Q: May I use your name for this little interview?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Because my attorneys told me not to stir any trouble up.
Q: Don't you feel it important to let it be known about this?
A: Yeah, but I'm trying to keep these guards off my back. I have a new
retrial coming up.
Q: Okay. Can you describe to me how you saw this video? What was the
video about?
A: It was an execution video of Gary Graham.
Q: How were you able to see it?
A: I was called out for a telephone call. When I went into the use of
force room to make the call, there were some guards and rank watching
it
like a movie. (Note: The use of force room is where we are taken to
make
phone calls; a large room filled with riot gear; it has two desks and
a
T.V./VCR monitor)
Q: What did you see?
A: It fucked my head up.
Q: Describe to me what you saw, if it's not too difficult for you.
A: The dude was strapped to the table and his face looked like he was
beat
up. I guess he put up a struggle before he was strapped down. I heard
rumors he tried to fight before they took him to the walls. (Note: the
Walls, is the unit in Huntsville Texas where they take you to from
Livingston, Texas to be executed on your date.) Anyways, I saw him on
that
table and it looked like he was suffocating- his face changed colors
and he
let out a gasp and then there was some commotion.
Q: Did it look like he was in pain?
A: I don't know. I just knew he was suffocating.
Q: So, you're telling me that the guards escorting you and the other
guards
plus ranking officials were all watching this tape?
A: Uh huh. But then Sergeant Ludwig walked into the room and he looked
disturbed by it and got pissed and said, ‘don't ya'll ever show this
shit in
front of an inmate!' He walked over and turned the T.V. off.
Q: Who were the ranking officers watching this?
A: Ummm. I think Lieutenant Price and Sergeant Pool.
Q: How do I know you aren't making this up?
A: I got no reason to make this shit up. I seen it. I just got all
detailed with you.
Q: Why didn't you tell someone? Why didn't you write a grievance?
A: I told you; I was about to have a retrial and I didn't want to
start no
shit. I'm about to have another retrial this summer and my Attorney
promised to look into it after this is over.
Q: Alright.
. . . . . .
Well, like I said, I can't verify any of this. I did ask someone who
knew
Gary Graham, and they said he did get beat up before his execution. My
theory on how the video tape was made is that they considered it a
"use of
force" incident and have to tape and document anything that requires
force.
Executions are not to be video taped, but if the were video taping a
use of
force, then maybe they allowed this to be taped. I don't know. I'm
surprised it hadn't turned up on the internet and I know if the tape
still
exists, as it should unless Huntsville destroyed it, it should be
accessible.. I do think the guy who told me all of this is being
truthful.
It's too detailed and this guy is mentally retarded to make something
like
that up. He was upset in talking about it, I could hear it in his
voice.
It's almost time for me to listen to KDOL. I need to get to other
stuff.
Peace! |
February 26, 2007
Monday and a beautiful Monday at that. I really think spring is
finally
here. I went outside earlier and it felt great. Too bad there wasn’t
too
much sun on my side ‘cause I can use it. I’m looking like casper the
friendly ghost. I’m ready to play some serious ball and do some
serious
running. I think it’ll be good for my mind.
I think tonight I feel like grossing people out by telling them what’s
in
some of the wonderful food : ) This is from the book Fast Food Nation
by
Eric Schlosser. I will use two excerpts, one on food dye- red dye to
be
precise and then, the other on the true definition of what a label
means
when an item says “Natural Flavors”.
“The Vegetarian Legal Action Network recently petitioned the FDA to
issue
new food labeling requirements for foods that contain natural flavors.
The
group wants food processors to list the basic origins of their flavors
on
their labels….One of the most widely used color additives- whose
presence is
often hidden by phrase “color additive” violates a number of religious
dietary restrictions, may cause allergic reactions in susceptible
people and
comes from unusual sources. Cochineal extract (also known as carmine
or
carminic acid) is made from the desiccated bodies of female
Dactlyopius
coccus costa, a small insect harvested mainly in Peru and the Canary
Islands. The bug feeds on red cactus berries and the color taken from
the
berries accumulated in the females and their unhatched larvae”
Basically,
what happens next is the insect is dried and then ground into pigment.
Many
yogurts, fruit bars, candies, fruit filling and Ocean Spray-
Grapefruit
Juice use this pigment to color their items to look pink, red or
purple.
Yummy!
A typical fast food milk shake contains over forty artificial flavors!
McDonalds French fries are flavored with beef extract! Many fast food
restaurants that claim a “natural smoke flavor” in their beef are
really
using a chemical extract captured when saw dust is charred. Yum yum
yum.
Who doesn’t love the smoky taste of saw dust? I do not miss meat at
all…
I guess I’ll close on that wonderful and delicious note! Peace. |
February 27, 2007
Howdy do. Another wonderful day in this place. Actually, it’s quite
pretty
outside. Plenty of sun light pouring through my window. Our section
didn’t
have recreation today, or else I would’ve definitely been trying to
get
outside.
I’ve spent much of the afternoon talking to one of my neighbors and
consoling him. I don’t know what I know about love, myself, but he’s
going
through much of what I went through with my ex-wife and I can
understand the
pain. He’s a little slow, and has many disabilities and sadly this is
his
very first relationship ever. It’s kind of heart breaking to know that
he
never had any real experiences with a woman outside of death row.
Because
of his disabilities he has a hard time explaining how he feels and how
he
expresses himself. He has anger issues also. I think my best advice to
him
was to no react in an aggressive or violent manner. I could tell by
his
voice; the very sad tone, that he was going through hell. It’s ironic
how
one of the most purest and uplifting human emotions can also be so
destructive.
Mail seems to be at an all time low here. Everyone is being affected
by
whoever is holding up mail. Get this; a guy had to find out two
freakin’
weeks later that a family member had died. Not only did the unit
chaplain
not inform the man of the lost family member, but a letter that
should’ve
gotten to him no more than three or four days, took two weeks. The
problem
is, no one knows how to solve this problem. Grievances come back with
replies that say you can’t complain about the mail. The mailroom says
that
we get it when they get it and the powers that be just don’t give a
damn.
It’s frustrating and it’s affecting friends and families. If it
weren’t for
the radio station KDOL and those who get visits, no one would have any
clue
of what’s going on in the present. Hmmm. Maybe that’s the idea. Maybe
they want to keep everyone purposely out of touch with the present.
Point
is, we need solutions and we need them fast. What’s going to happen if
this
isn’t solved is some dude back here is going to flip his lid and end
up
attacking someone and that would just be a horrible outcome any way
you look
at it.
I’ll probably be moved tonight. I hope to go somewhere decent. Who
knows.
Guess I’ll get ready just in case.
Peace. |
February 28, 2007
Okay.. I’m a little outraged right now. I was just listening to the
news and
they were talking about a high profile capital murder trial in Sugar
Land,
Texas- a suburb or Houston. Apparently the defendant allegedly hired
his
two friends to murder his family for the insurance claim. Two of the
family
members were killed. A tragedy to say the least.
Now, one of the friends directly involved with the murder; a
participant and
driver of the getaway car was given…15 YEARS!!! Just fifteen freakin’
years! He was a freakin’ participant and he takes a plea agreement to
testify on the others for fifteen years!! For murder! This just goes
to
show how messed up our system is. The law of parties is ridiculous for
one,
but also, to be convicted of a capital murder you have to knowingly
and
willingly have participated in the murder. Now, there are tons of guys
on
death row under the law of parties who face losing their life for
being at
the wrong place at the wrong time, or hanging around the wrong people.
This
guy who was given 15 years confessed! That’s just mind boggling. So,
he’s
not as dangerous? I don’t get it.. How is it fair that his two
co-defendants
are illegible for the death penalty, but not him? ‘Cause he’s willing
to
testify? I don’t get it. Just another reason why the death penalty is
not
fair or an acceptable answer. The system is a joke and outrage.
Justice is
crap.
Peace. |
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