Randy's Journal (June 2007)
Note to readers of these entries: There are many
grammatical, punctuation and typing errors. It would be incredibly time
consuming to go through each entry and correct the mistakes, so I ask
that the reader please forgive me of these errors. Each entry goes
through several hands in the process of getting my words from death row
to your computer screen in a timely fashion. Thank you for your
patience. I hope you will enjoy my writings.
June 01, 2007
You’re probably wondering what happened to the month of May..
Well, I decided to take a month off from every type of writing
possible except writing to my friends and such. It’s easy to get
burned out when all your day consists of writing and reading.. But I’m
back for whatever it’s worth and I’ll try to find something useful to
write about until I get burned out again. Haha.
So much has happened over the month and I suppose I could’ve written
about a billion things, so I’ll try to give a run down.. I fell in
love, I though I lost a great friend, but fortunately I didn’t. I went
on a month long losing streak at playing basketball, then in the last
weeks I went on a great winning streak finally finding my groove and
effectively kicked butt. I have been fortunate enough to get out in
the sun and finally bring some color to my pastey white skin.. Then,
the great ending to the month came two weeks ago, from my attorney who
brought some very great news..It really looks like I might get a
retrial. It all comes to the Court Of Criminal Appeals, but we think
the odds are in my favor. I’m excited and scared at the possibilities
the future holds. Although, once again I have to deal with the
emotional aspects of what a new trial or even new sentencing phase
would bring. First, and most importantly old wounds of the victims
family will be torn open and I hate that they have to suffer anymore.
It bothers me a lot. I wish for some sense of finality of things for
them, just as much as anyone else would, but I’m not a killer so.. I
just wish none of this mess would’ve ever happened. If only I had a
time machine…Of course, I’ll have to deal with the personal attacks on
my character, but I can put up with it. Who knows what the future
holds. Ultimately fate is in the hands of God..
Oh, and I was able to call my girlfriend the same weekend I heard from
my lawyers.
Today is Friday and it’s been slow. I’ve mostly been reading a book
called Target, a thriller and listening to the radio. I figured I
would start my journal back up and get back in the habit of things..
Peace and Love. |
June 02, 2007
Saturday. Usually these are the most boring days on earth, but
somehow I’ve been able to keep motivated. I got up this morning and
went to recreation and exercised. I normally don’t exercise on
Saturdays, but I wanted to and it felt good. I’ve spent most of the
rest of the day catching up on letters.
The sun is beginning to set outside and it looks quite gorgeous. One
thing I really miss on weekends and especially in the summer are those
wonderful sunsets where you are out in the front or back yard with
family or a friend and that feeling of the cooling air kissing your
cheeks, colors playing across the sky..I remember being in our
swimming pool not long after dad would serve dinner. The sun going
down..A lot of times I’d pass up going outside to swim to stay in a
watch T.V. I think my parents took it as me being anti social, but the
truth is, we weren’t allowed to watch horror movies or shows in our
house, and Tales From The Crypt would come on every Saturday night at
7:00 P.M. so, all the times I’d pass up going swimming, I’d be
sneaking around to watch that show. I was just being a typical
teenager, trying to be sly. I look back now, though and really regret
spending that time with my family. I think if teenagers really
understood how fleeting that time being with mom and dad is, maybe
they would spend more time with them. I really miss mom and dad right
now, as the sun’s sinking shadow play across the walls of my cell.
If only youth and summer could last forever.
Peace and Love. |
June 03, 2007
Another day comes to a close. It’s been oddly quiet today, so I
can gather it will be chaos tonight on this pod (I’m on ad-seg and
it’s been nuts!) I’m a little bummed because I didn’t hear my girls
voice today. Hope she’s alright. Phone lines at KDOL probably just too
busy. It sucks being so out of reach with those you love and care for,
but you deal with it. What else can you do.
Right now Pink Floyds “Wish You Were Here” is playing. That’s ironic.
Sheesh. I don’t know, but the last month or so I’ve been really
getting into some classic rock. I’m not into the Southern rock sound,
but a lot of the British classics are great. I’m really really
starting to like everything The Beatles did. Mom was a huge fan- I can
see why.
Anyways, it’s been a slow dull week and I ‘m just checking in.
Peace and Love! |
June 04, 2007
I swear, I’ve got some bad luck! I just came in from recreation
and I’m getting over the effects of being gassed. I’ve got a killer
headache right now!
I went to recreation at 6:30 A.M. and things were going find until the
guy in the next day room to mind decides to talk trash to the guards.
The guards call a ranking officer to the pod to chill him out, he
continues to make threats and is cussing the Sergeant out. They call
the riot team, gas him and drag him out of the day room. Well, I’m
stuck like chuck. I’m just as exposed to the gas as he is, because the
dayrooms are open spaces. I begin to cough, gag, sneeze, my nose was
running like a busted faucet.. Why does that always seem to happen
when I’m around? Everywhere I go something happens where gas is used
and I’m always right in the mix.
Well, last night in my closing entries I was talking about how I was
starting to really get into the Beatles and oddly enough, in
commemoration of the Fourti Anniversary of the album “Sgt. Peppers
Lonely Hearts Club Band” they played the album in it’s entirety. I
listened to it and was completely blown away. I’ve heard several of
the songs over the years, but to hear it all uncut, the way it was
supposed to be heard.. Wow. The song that really blew my mind was
“Within With Out You” awesome in sound and lyrics. I really couldn’t
believe how good the album was.
Actually, last night was an unbelievably good night for music. I heard
a lot of songs I hadn’t heard in a while. Nights like that make me
miss having a CD player.
Hopefully tonight I will hear my girls voice on the radio. I’m missing
it and her a lot. I don’t have much planned for the rest of the day. I
need to do some reading. Maybe a little writing.
It’s hot right now, Though, I’m glad the sun is out. Too bad I can’t
get outside and some sunshine. Tomorrow is the outside day for this
section. Maybe I’ll get lucky.
Peace and Love. |
June 28, 2007
Last night I was moved to E-pod. It seems - no, it is a fact that
I'm here every other week. I mean, I think it kind of defeats the
purpose that if I and others who are 'escape risks', that they keep
moving me to the same pod and almost in the exact cell location... I
admit, I don't like it down here, but I'll make the best of it. Why
not? Besides, I can get art work, home made cards; all sorts of arts
and crafts dirt cheap down here. Might as well take advantage. A small
price to pay for lack of sleep. Haha.
Peace and Love. |
June 29, 2007
I was writing my girl earlier today and I had the feeling I was
going to have an attorney's visit about the same time, so I hurried up
and shaved just incase. When I finished shaving commissary came. I
didn't get anything, but my neighbor was kind enough to get an ice
cream for me. As I'm enjoying that, two guards showed up and said I
had a legal visit. I would have to enjoy the melted remains at a later
time. Anyways, my lawyer didn't have anything to report. Everything is
sitting and waiting and while we wait for a definite answer on my
appeals, they are just building up evidence and support in my favor.
In fact, another one of my co-defendants had just signed another
affidavit in my favor saying I wasn't a shooter. This means a lot to
me, as none of my co-defendants really likes me, so... I don't think
anyone can say, "Oh, they just want to see someone get off..." Trust
me, if a couple of them could kill me personally, they probably would.
Anyways, with them was an intern and we talked for a bit, just general
things like what I'm into etc. It was nice to get out of the
cell for a bit.
I'm slacking on reading this week. I've been wanting to start this
book called "The Grays", but the cover looks creepy. It has this huge
bug eyed alien head... aliens freak me out. I'll start it later, I'm
sure. It's been raining off and on for forever and it's getting old.
Nobody wants to play any ball and I really need to get my cardio
going. I've been doing good on my normal conditioning, but I need to
run.
Peace and Love. |
June 30, 2007
I don't know, why, but I feel so drained today… I don't feel
depressed, just tired. Worn out. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better.
Peace. |
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