Randy's Journal (July 2007)
Note to readers of these entries: There are many
grammatical, punctuation and typing errors. It would be incredibly time
consuming to go through each entry and correct the mistakes, so I ask
that the reader please forgive me of these errors. Each entry goes
through several hands in the process of getting my words from death row
to your computer screen in a timely fashion. Thank you for your
patience. I hope you will enjoy my writings.
|
July 01, 2007
It's Sunday, and for a change it's sunny and bright. I woke up
feeling better than yesterday and got my workout knocked out. Now I
just have to do laundry and catch up on a letter or two. Then, I want
to read, I have to read…
Peace. |
July 02, 2007
Wow. It's already July. I just can't believe it. I thought
yesterday was still June, so I changed my calendar today and thought,
damn… it's July.
Craziness.
It's been raining today, which stinks. The rain moved in in the
afternoon yesterday. I think everyone was bummed. It seems to not want
to let up. As I was listening to KDOL, people from Europe and England
were calling in saying it was flooding, due to so much rain.
I did start that book "The Grays" last night and finished it just
awhile ago. I thought for a thriller it was quite good. The writing
was very impressive. Plus, it was genuinely freaky. For the longest I
couldn't figure out of the aliens were benign or not, as they were
doing some creepy things to their abductees, but it turns out they
never intended harm on humans. The author is Whitley Streiber, who,
oddly enough claims to be a real life abductee. He wrote a book on it,
called "communion" I remember seeing the movie when I was 13 or 14,
and it scared the crap out of me. That was in the days I was convinced
aliens were coming to earth. Haha.
Not much has really happened today. It's amazing how a day will shoot
by when you're reading a good book. Now it's time to get some sleep.
Or try.
Peace and Love. |
July 03, 2007
It was complete madness yesterday and today. People were screaming
and yelling, banging and beating. Thank God I've just been told to
pack my things up and get ready for a move. I'm ready to go.
Sheesh. |
July 04, 2007
Fourth of July and it's raining. Not only that, but the cell I've
been moved to has a building behind me, so it'll be the first year
since I've been on Death Row that I'll miss the fireworks. Kind of
sucks. I've felt drained today, but managed to exercise anyways. I
don't want to stop, 'cause if I miss one day, other than my rest day,
I'll quit. I don't want to do that. I have to stay on it. Not much
else to say. Nothing on my mind.
Peace. |
July 05, 2007
I went outside in the rain today. It was okay. Now I'm waiting on
a shower. It's really hot and humid today, so everyone feels
lethargic. Lunch was good. Had a burrito and Spanish rice. If they
don't come with a shower soon, I'm going to have to bust out the
'hose'. It's my new solution to when they sit on their buts. I hook
this hollow coax cable to my sink and voila! Instant shower and it's
better than a bird bath. The only down side is having to clean up a
lot of water off of the floor. Oh well.
Peace. |
July 06, 2007
Man, I am sick of this rain. It’s really getting out of hand. The sun
will come out for an hour and then it’ll go right back to storming. I
can’t play any basketball and I really need to jog. Running around in
circles in the dayroom is so tiresome and boring. Playing basketball
makes it a little livelier.
My neighbor pulled his back and has been trying to get to medical all
day long. The guards keep ignoring his complaints and he has turned in
about three medical requests, but they keep giving him the run-around.
It has me a little aggravated that they don’t want to even look at
him. He had to refuse his shower because he can barely walk or stand.
So it’s obvious he’s not faking it. The good thing is that the inmates
on one row have all pulled together to help him out. We rotate heating
up water with our hot pots and then pour it into bottles to send down
to him so he can put it on his back. It’s all we can do, but it’s cool
that we’ve all come together to help him out. One guy had a box of
ibuprofen that he gave to him also.
There’s not a lot going on today. It’s been pretty boring. I was going
to talk to one of my friends, “Big-Foot,” but when I went to his
section to recreate he was on another section recreating. D’oh! So
much for that. We usually talk politics and discuss things about the
death penalty and how to get people motivated in speaking out against
it.
Tonight I’ll listen to the movie “Robo Cop.” I haven’t seen the movie
in ages, but it was a favorite as a kid. I remember when Wesley and I
had asked our mom if we could watch it, half expecting—no, fully
expecting her to say, “No.” I picked up the video at Block Buster and
took it to mom. “Mom, can we watch this?” She looked at it for a
second and read the box. “It’s pretty violent,” she said. I don’t
know.” “But Mom! It’s not a scary movie. You said you only didn’t want
us to watch scary movies. Please, Mom?” “I want to watch it first. If
it’s not too bad I’ll let you watch it.” “Yes!” Wesley and I said.
This weekend I plan on listening to the “Live Earth” concerts. I hope
they are good.”
Peace and love. |
July 07, 2007
It’s Saturday and finally we have some sustaining sunshine. Woohoo! I
woke up with the sunlight pouring into my cell, as if it were some
heavenly glow, and thought, “What’s this?” It hasn’t gone away yet.
We had a little excitement earlier. Yesterday I wrote about how my
neighbor was having back problems. Well, medical keeps refusing to see
him and one of the inmates was fed up, so as he was returning from the
shower he refused to return to his cell. He demanded that a sergeant
come and talk to him. When the sergeant showed up he was huffing and
puffing, yelling, “Goddammit, it better be good or your ass is going
to Level 2!” The inmate explained that my neighbor has been having
back problems and can barely walk. He needs medical attention. Get him
help and I’ll go back to my cell.
Of course the inmate was risking disciplinary action for this guy,
which I think all of us, including the sergeant thought was very
honorable. The sergeant goes to my neighbor’s cell and asks what his
problem is. They talk for a bit and the sergeant calls for a
wheel-chair and they take him to medical. He hasn’t been back, but the
guard said that he had a herniated disc. Yep. So the problem was
serious after all and medical kept refusing him, saying he was faking
it. Nice, huh?
Not much has happened since and my neighbor hasn’t returned, so I can
only guess he’ll probably be going to Galveston Medical Center. He’ll
probably be gone for a while.
I’ll spend the rest of the day reading. |
July 08, 2007
Today was extremely boring. I woke up, exercised, did laundry,
listened to KDOL and then some movies on TV (radio). It had been sunny
all day, but it’s storming again. Fig-ures. Well, at least this week I
can look forward to seeing my friend this weekend and next Monday and
Tuesday.
Peace. |
7/9/07
Today started off with the surprise of a lockdown. Well, it wasn’t
necessarily a surprise as much as everyone was waiting for it to come.
Thank God I stocked up on stamps a few weeks ago because it means no
one will be able to go to the store in at least two-and-a-half weeks.
Our pod was supposed to go last night, but due to the lockdown it was
cancelled.
Basically on a lockdown the guards use the time to thoroughly search
through your belongings for contraband and to make sure you don’t have
excess property. All of your personal belongings have to fit in a
wooden box. Anything that doesn’t fit is confiscated. For meals we are
given sack lunches; no hot meals, no vegetables—just PB&J for me.
Showers are only allowed on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Oddly
enough today they weren’t going to give us our shower but everyone
began to raise hell.
I didn’t get much sleep last night at all so I spent today catching
up. I had stayed up to listen to a movie until 1:00 A.M. It was about
this musician chick who had been raped and when she was a teen she
became an alcoholic. Well, a journalist knows who raped her (his
brother!) and sets out to do a story for a magazine on her, but really
his motive is to tell her who raped her. I don’t know the title, but
if this sounds familiar to anyone please email me and let me know the
title of the movie. It was really good.
Anyway, at 1:00 A.M. I was awakened by two female guards yelling,
giggling and being rowdy all night. They were horse-playing, which
excited some of the inmates and cat-calls and “Oh, yeah baby!”
followed.
Right now things are really quiet. We’re just waiting on mail and I’m
currently on hot water bottle duty for my neighbor and his back. We
(his neighbors) have been rotating duties.
My cell is a mess tonight because I’m going through things I want to
keep and throw away for my turn on the cell search. Plus, I’ll more
than likely be moved tomorrow. Got to whittle junk down.
Peace and love. |
7/10/07
It has been one hot day. I think it has hit about 97 degrees. I’ve
got my fan on but it’s really just pushing hot air around. I’m
listening to “The Four O’clock Flashback” on “The Buzz” and the DJ
just announced The Cure’s latest album will be out in October.
Apparently Robert Smith is fighting with his record label because he
wants the album to be sold as a double disc at a relatively cheap
price and the label is saying, “Nope.” So it’ll probably be compiled
on one disc. It’s being rumored as the best Cure album in a long time.
I can’t wait to hear the first single.
Well, it’s the second day of the lockdown and I slept in until 10:00
A.M. I stayed up listening to “South Park” and went to sleep at 2:00
A.M. Not too bad. At noon I exercised and then took a “shower.” I
swear this hose I have is a gift from God. After all that I cleaned my
cell and now I’m just waiting to see if I get moved or not. Sometimes
on a lockdown they won’t do any moves, but it’s so early it’s quite
possible I will get moved. Rumors have it A-Pod is being searched
right now. That means B-Pod will be next (I’m currently on B-Pod).
Nothing else to write about today. I’m about to pick up a book and
read for a bit as I wait for my lunch sack and to see if I’ll be
moved.
Didn’t get moved but we did get a hot dinner which surprised the hell
out of all of us.
7/11/07
“How Are Things on the West Coast?” –Interpol Man. I cannot get
this song out of my head. It’s awesome.
Well, it’s been another very hot day and I’ve been extremely bored.
They were supposed to shake down this pod today, but some ranking
officer decided to change things up. I’m guessing that I won’t be
moved until after the shakedown. If I don’t get moved tonight that’ll
be a safe assumption.
Today I’ve been so bored that I actually spent it listening to TV
shows like “The View” and “Judge Hatchet” and “Judge Joe Brown.”
You’ve gotta be careful with programs like that because it can be very
addictive. Mind rot is what I like to call them, but damn they’re like
crack! What is it about the human psyche that loves to watch a train
wreck, or to see other people air their own private problems (like me
and my journal!)? Oh and that blonde on the view, she’s an idiot! She
claims to be Republican conservative but can’t even form and educated
opinion of her own views. It was like listening to a shiatsu yap away.
So annoying. Still…I listened. This is what the lockdown has reduced
me to. If I had a bowl full of ice cream it would be complete. Next
thing you know I’ll be listening to the soap operas. Stay here, Randy.
Don’t turn to the dark side.
Peace and love.
7/12/07
It’s Thursday and feels like eternity. Lord, the boredom. If this
is purgatory then I repent…peace.
7/13/07
Today has been slow but they’ve begun to cell search our pod. If
all goes fast we should have our section (I’m on F-Section) searched
tomorrow. Then we can all relax. I’ve been spending most of my day
going through my property and throwing away things of non-importance.
Tonight I received some mail from my girl friend and it made me a bit
sad because she feels bad not being able to do more for me or to be
closer to me. I mean, it makes me feel good about her care and
concern, but I don’t know how to convince her that by her being in my
life, being a friend and giving me the gift of love is more than I
could ever ask for. For me love is like nuclear power. It’s what keeps
me going. I just want her to know that I care for her because she has
given me so much in these past months and it’s wonderful. It’s like a
million bucks. Love is a wonderful thing. I didn’t need a million
visits or material things…just love.
Peace!
7/14/07
Well it has been an interesting day indeed. All cell searches have
been halted due to two uses of force. Apparently the guards
confiscated two radios so the inmates who the radios belonged to—I was
implicated in a relationship with one of the radios, but I plead the
fifth =) –got mad and refused to return to their cells. Well, we were
packed up and ready to go but then it all stopped. Now we’re set for
Sunday.
The best part of today was when I was called out for a Saturday night
visit to see a friend. I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to show up as he
would be flying in today, so it was a nice surprise.
As I write this my neighbor is calling me to talk, so I’ll see what
he’s up to. His back is feeling a bit better but he’s still in pain.
Peace and love.
7/15/07
Jeez, am I tired. I talked all night until 3:00 A.M. Went to sleep
only to have a sergeant wake me up at 6:00 A.M. “Get up, get your shit
packed. Everything comes out of your cell!” You know how when you
don’t get enough sleep you can be a bit delirious? I stared acting
goofy along with my neighbor, so as they were pulling guys out of
their cells he began to tease and poke fun at them. Then I started to
go into graphic description of the main kinds of diarrhea you can get
eating nothing but cheese, bread, peanut butter and raisins. I said to
one of the guards, “You ever had bone rattling diarrhea? The kind of
shits where ain’t nothin’ coming out. It’s like the dry heaves in
reverse!” I just went on and on…Talk about getting some crazy looks.
I faired well in the search and spent the rest of the day doing
laundry and listening to KDOL. I’ve got to get up at 6:00 A.M.
tomorrow for a visit with my friend so I’m about to crash out.
Peace and love!
7/16/07
Today was a good day. I got up, exercised and we had showers. It
was getting close to 8:00 A.M. and my friend was about to show up so I
asked a guy if I could skip in front of him for a shower. He said it
was cool so when the guards came I went ahead. While I was in the
shower the visit escort came to pull me out. It was a nice visit. My
friend, David, is a remarkable man, compassionate, loyal and a mentor.
As Jewish folks would call him, a Mensch. He’s family to me and I love
him dearly.
I came back, took a nap and wrote a quick letter to my girl. She
called into KDOL just a short while but was in her car and the cell
phone cut out—argh! Still her voice is like honey dew—so sweet. It
makes me smile.
I’m about to brush my teeth and get to bed for pat two of my visits
with David.
Peace and love!
7/17/07
I am so exhausted. I’ll probably be going to bed early tonight. I
had a really great visit today with my friend, but it seemed to go by
really fast. One cool thing that happened right at the beginning of my
visit is a friend of one of my friends, Jennie, shot by and said
hello. I thought that was cool. I got back to my cell around one in
the afternoon and took a nap. Then a huge thunder storm hit and woke
me up. Later I listened to a show called “Democracy Now” and they were
talking about the death penalty and recently found some execution
audio recordings from Georgia. They were really disgusting and
disturbing, but I think very important to hear. I want to see if I can
get the audio on my site or put on a Youtube video. But you can go to
soundportrait.org and look up Georgia execution tapes and probably
listen to the audio there.
Not much else to write about. I need to get these entries out and
posted.
Peace. |
7/18/07
It’s been a nice, warm and quiet day. I got out of bed at nine in
the morning and drank what I hope is my very last cup of coffee
because I ran out and I really want to give up caffeine. Then I began
to go through print-outs of my journal over the past two years. I have
an idea of turning the best entries and some of my stories into a
book, so that’s my project. I organized about half of it. Then, once I
complete that and decide what I want to do direction-wise, I’ll edit
and hopefully stitch together something interesting. I’m really
excited about that. Then I’m determined to re-write my novel I put to
the side a while back. I know what and how I’m going to do the draft
now.
I suppose the fire was lit after discussing my friend’s novel. I
thought, you know, he’s working and I really should be also. I wasted
too much time and honestly writing-wise I’ve gotten really lazy. The
one project I was very excited about with my friend who I grew up with
came to an abrupt stop, so until that gets back on track I need to do
other things. I’m determined to have something published by 2008, even
if it has to be self-published.
Right now, as I write this, I’m listening to Dr. Phil because nothing
good is on the radio. It’s been nice today but so slow. I need to pick
up a book but I’m not in a reading mood today.
Peace.
7/19/07
A funny thing happened tonight. My neighbor gave me a jalapeno
pepper and we were so hungry we decided to eat them as is. So, I take
the first bite and the sucker is hot! As I take each bite I begin to
moan, “Ohhh! Ahhh! Shit! Ohhh!” My mouth was on fire. So I keep making
these moans and groans of pain, unaware that it could sound erotic to
others nearby. Finally my neighbor says, “Jesus, Randy, what are you
doing over there—wait, I don’t want to know!” I start to laugh
uncontrollably and say, “Man, that sucker is hot! I can’t help it!” He
says, “Yeah, well, it sounds like you’re doing some kinky stuff with
that pepper!” And we both laugh.
Peace!
7/20/07
Today I was surprised to be told that I was being moved, but
apparently the lock down is over. So I had to pack it up. The new cell
was by far the nastiest cell I’d ever been moved to. It was horrible.
I spent two-and-a-half hours scrubbing and cleaning. I was so pissed
and then afterward I was so dirty that I had to rinse off with my
hose. Other than that the pod is an okay pod.
It’s been raining the past two days. This rain is starting to get to
Biblical proportions. It’s really crazy. Can we please get a long
stretch of sunshine, God? Sheesh.
Peace and love!
7/21/07
We are off lock down! Woo-hoo! I had a really good workout today,
it’s finally real sunny and soon I’ll be going to recreation. Finally
a Saturday that hasn’t been so boring.
Peace and love!
7/23/07
Today has been pretty good. After a month and a half I finally got
some sun-shine and played basketball, thought we had a minor incident
as we were playing. Apparently the outside recreation yard next to us
had a use of force incident because as we were playing we were hit
with a burst of riot gas. It took the breath right out of me and I hit
the concrete on my knees gagging and choking. Then our skin and eyes
burned. This lasted for about 20 seconds and I thought I was going to
puke and then it passed. It took us about ten minutes to recuperate
and we started playing ball again. I won seven games to six.
I was at a huge disadvantage, too. I started off losing four games in
a row be-cause the goal I was shooting at was about four feet higher
than my opponent’s goal. Then I was out of practice and had done a
workout about an hour before I played so my arms were worn out. Still,
I came back and it was good to run. I need a good cardio plan and
playing speed ball is the best there is because you play in bursts or
sprints. Even if I can’t find someone to play ball with I’m going to
start jogging from now on.
Right now as I write this I’m waiting on a shower…and dinner. I’m
hungry as a horse. I was a little down earlier today because yesterday
my girl wasn’t able to call into KDOL, but I’m sure she either had her
hands tied or couldn’t get through. Other than mail and visits
sometimes, that show is our only contact with the outside world. It’s
how I know in real time if friends and family are safe or not.
Well, so much for a shower any time soon. The meal cart just showed
up. It’s a big metal hotbox on wheels. They plug it into an outlet
near the control center and then load blue cafeteria style trays into
a food carrier that holds the trays—one carrier for each floor on a
section. They do give us juice or tea each meal also. It’s not the
best tasting stuff, but when it’s 95 degrees outside and just as hot
in the cells cold juice or tea is delicious no matter how nasty.
I think I’m going to bust out my homemade shower and wash off in my
cell. I do not like sitting around in my filth and sweat.
Peace! |
7/24/07
No recreation today, but it wasn’t entirely boring either. I woke
up a little after 8:00 A.M. and exercised. Shortly before lunch right
around 10:30 A.M. the guards stopped recreation to serve lunch to the
section that had recreation. When they started to load the tray
carrier they realized the food was cold so they had to return the food
cart back to the kitchen. They brought a new cart back and that cart
was also cold. So the guards say, “Well, maybe it just needs to heat
up a bit.” Thirty minutes later the food is still cold. One guard
replies, “Damn, this cart is broken too!” I get one of the guard’s
attention and offer, “Maybe it’s the receptacle—I mean the outlet
that’s not working.” Of course he ignores me. They wait longer to see
if the food will somehow magically warm itself up.
At this time it’s inching up on 1:00 P.M. Kicks on cells doors and
calls of “Feed us! We’re hungry!” erupt all over the pod. A sergeant
comes onto the pod to investigate the noise and after he learns that
we’ve not been fed he starts yelling at the guards. It was pretty
crazy.
The guards take off with the food cart and then disappear for about
thirty minutes. Now everyone is super mad. Dudes are cussing,
screaming, yelling. The sergeant comes back down and says, “Jesus
Christ! Where are my goddamn officers at?”
Finally lunch is served at 2:00 P.M. or so. All that mess for some
burritos! Sheesh. Dinner came at around 4:30 P.M. so lunch was like an
appetizer.
Right now I’m sitting here waiting to see if I will be moved or not.
There’s supposed to be a call-in show on KDOL tonight so if I do get
moved I hope not to miss it.
I was listening to a news report earlier on how President Bush keeps
on saying Iraq is the focus of “The War on Terror.” He keeps bringing
up “al Qaeda in Iraq” and how we must fight them to win and I’m
thinking, “Geeze, al Qaeda wasn’t in Iraq until we tore the country
up. Now it’s the perfect place for a training ground. Bush can’t be
that naïve, can he? It’s pretty disturbing to think about. I remember
listening to an interview on PBS and the “Charlie Rose Show” and they
had an Iraqi official on at the time of the Virginia Tech shootings.
He said, “Today you mourn students killed at Virginia Tech…Everyday is
Virginia Tech for my people.” Very sobering words that fall upon deaf
ears.
Peace and love.
7/25/07
Ever since I’ve run out of coffee and decided not to drink it
anymore (for like the hundredth time, I know…) my energy level has
rocketed sky high. I’ve also been having some weird dreams. I just had
a dream that took place in colonial times and I was dressed up like an
Indian. The scenery was very similar to that in the movie, “The Last
of the Mohicans.”
I remember being with a female and another guy who were in the same
garb I was. Some of the dream is fuzzy now, but the part that got to
me the most was somehow we’d gotten into trouble and one of us would
have to talk to another tribe. The chief of the tribe wanted to talk
to me specifically, but I was too afraid to go out for fear of being
killed, so the female offered to go.
Time passed and she never returned. We ran into a scout and asked the
deal was. The scout told us that she had been killed and sacrificed
herself for the sake of me because the chief was offended that I would
not talk to him. The chief ordered my head be brought back to him and
she stopped him, giving up her life. The other guy and I began to weep
and I felt ashamed of myself. Then I woke up.
Peace.
7/26/07 (note: this entry contains harsh language)
I went outside at 6:30 A.M. today and, boy, was it an interesting
recreation. I’ve met quite a few characters since being imprisoned,
but this guy I was out with today was definitely one of the top
assholes I’ve ever met. I knew of him, but I’m the kind of person that
doesn’t like to pass judgment or listen to others until I know for
myself. So, I’m outside and I ask the guy, “Do you play basketball?”
He says, “Yeah, I play nigger ball from time to time.” I cringe at the
comment and say, “Hey, I’d appreciate it if you don’t talk like that
around me.” He sort of grunts and we begin to play. I win every game
and I can tell he’s getting aggravated so I actually throw a few games
so he won’t quit on me. I like to play so that I can run. It’s more
about the exercise and rush than it is about winning.
So, then after letting him win three games back to back he starts
trash talking and says, “Yeah, it’s good to see you ain’t got no
nigger in you. I was beginning to worry about you.” I say, “Dude,
chill out on the language, man. You’re starting to piss me off.” We go
back to playing and I start winning again. I mean, I demolish him,
winning games 10-1- 10-2, 10-0. He gets mad and kicks the ball against
the wall and then throws a temper tantrum, beating up the ball. I say,
“You know, there are others who come out and play. You might not want
to destroy the ball.” He says, “Well, why the fuck should I care?
Ain’t nobody gonna care about me.” I then tell him that if he’s
selfish like that what did he expect? The rest of the recreation time
was spent listening to racial comments, etc. Then something funny
happened. Two mail room ladies showed, one of them being a real pretty
Black woman. He goes up to the glass and says, “Boys, look at that.
I’d like to get me a shot of that pussy.” I look at him in disbelief
and say, “Man, you just spent almost two hours degrading Black people
and now you’re talking about how you want to have sex with a Black
woman? How does that make sense—in your warped head?” He gets serious
and says, “I like pussy.” I say, “You’re an ass, man, a real ass.”
Needless to say I’ll never be going to recreation with this yahoo
again.
The rest of the day I’ve just been reading and relaxing.
Peace and love.
7/27/07
Well, I wasn’t moved today so I suppose the officials are trying
to get a normal move schedule back on track—post lockdown. Tonight I
received some really touching emails and it always moves me when I’ve
convinced people to change their view on the death penalty. It brings
a lot of hope to me because the fight isn’t about me. Odds are that I
will get away from this place, but it doesn’t mean the fight is over
for the rest of the men that sit here.
Right now I’m reading a book about the Innocence Project called Actual
Innocence. It’s insane the number of people who are wrongly accused,
from false testimony, mistaken witness identification, DNA, and all
sorts of other errors, sometimes malicious, sometimes not.
Other than that it’s been a dry day.
Peace.
7/29/07
Sunday. It’s sunny outside and I’m listening to KDOL. Yesterday I
pretty much spent reading. Today will be much of the same. Nothing to
report or write about. I’m just wasting time—ha-ha.
Peace. |
7/30/07
Today shot right on by. I went to recreation at 6:30 A.M. into a
hot and humid sunrise. It was a bit overcast, but as we began to play
basketball the skies cleared and showed a beautiful blue. But, man,
did I sweat like a pig! My socks, shorts/boxers, T-shirt were drenched
in a sticky, greasy sweat—yuck. Oh, and I got my butt beat down 15
games to five. I just couldn’t find any rhythm this morning. Mid-game
I was interrupted to sign for a couple of books from the mail room. I
received one book I’ve wanted to read for about 15 years called
Communion, a supposedly “true story” about the author being abducted
by space aliens.
As a kid and teen I had a fascination (and fear) of aliens. It became
an obsession at one point and one night my friend from the synagogue,
Jason, and I swore we saw something while I was sleeping over at his
house. My parents because worried and sent me to a shrink after
finding my detailed journal on my so-called “research.” I admit, my
imagination was beyond over-active in those days and things probably
did get a little out of hand.
Still, to this day things like UFO’s fascinate me. I think it’s
because as a human I want to believe—and do believe—that it’s just not
us in this universe. It can’t be possible and how boring it would be
if we are the only ones! Who knows?
Mail just arrived. I got some lovin’ from my gal. Her daughter’s
birthday is this week so I had this really big and detailed Mickey
Mouse drawn for her on illustration board. It looks so good I’m
mailing that out tonight. I can’t wait to hear the reaction. I had
sent a cute birthday cake birthday card to her and was told she
carried it around and showed it off to everyone. That made my heart
smile.
Guess I’ll spend the rest of the night reading.
Peace.
7/31/07
The last day of the month. This summer has gone by so fast. I
heard a “Back to School” advertisement on the radio this morning and
thought, wow. August is typically the hottest month in Texas, but it’s
been such an odd summer—it seems to be starting late and I wonder if
it won’t be September and October that are the hot months.
I finished reading Communion this morning. I was surprised how well
this abduction account was written. It’s a convincing argument, but we
as humans have barely begun to figure ourselves out. I don’t think we
could handle trying to figure out something like a sentient being more
evolved and intelligent that ourselves. If they are here then I wish
they would come and abduct my ass from here. Perform all the rectal
exams you want! Ha-ha.
I haven’t been moved in about ten days now, so I’m expecting a guard
to show up any minute to pack my stuff.
Today I got on a couple of my fellow inmates butts for joining the
guards in teasing and aggravating my neighbor to the right of me. He
is a bit mentally troubled—has bouts of paranoia and bursts of anger.
One guard kept antagonizing him all day and it was really irritating
me. I do not like to see people picked on. I can tell my neighbor is
close to an outburst and is agitated as I hear him shuffling his feet,
pace back and forth, murmuring inarticulate words. I try to calm him
down and give him my cereal that was thrown in my cell at breakfast
and also a magazine. Still, every time the guard passed by he would
make a comment.
About 30 minutes later the guard passes by again and my neighbor
erupts: kicking his door, screaming profanities and so forth. Well,
then other guards and inmates start cussing him out and such. So
things chill down and I come to my door and address those who were
putting-down the troubled guy. I said, “You know, I don’t see how
y’all justify belittling someone and having the same mentality as the
guard. That’s why we have the problems we have now. No freakin’ unity.
You see a guy down, you’re supposed to pick him up, not cuss him out
and put him down. The dude didn’t do anything. He was quiet until the
guard wired him up…”
Sometimes people forget where they are, as if we’re not all in the
same boat. I live in a strange world. One moment I see kinder acts
than one would see on the outside, another moment it’s “Lord of the
Flies.”
Peace and love. |
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