| Poems by Randy E.
Halprin Hello! Thank you for entering my
"poems" page. Some of these go as far back as 2003, when I first came
to death row. They aren't really poems in the typical definition. I
don't consider myself a poet. These are more like sketches of lyrics
for the music that pours through my mind. Still, I hope that they will
evoke something from within, as any decent poetry or music should. |
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TONIGHT WE COULD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There's a billion ways to tell you that I love you.
A billion ways to say we can.
Envelope each other in our arms.
And dance this quiet dance.
Tonight the sky holds no limit.
Only opportunity and chance,
Tonight your eyes are diamonds.
I'm lost at just a glance.
And tonight we could storm heaven,
Make it ours for the taking.
Tonight we could live forever,
In our love making.
Tonight tonight tonight;
Set our hearts alight.
It's in the palm of our hands.
It's in the way that you stand.
It could be ours tonight.
|
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NO WAY OUT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
My head,
It's a mess up there.
Like an attic full of dust.
Like a sword starting to rust.
I could run around lost for days in my mind.
Lost in a daze, time is never kind.
And it's par for the course.
The obviousness of it all.
No matter how many times I can pick myself up.
Again and again I fall.
I wish I could hold it all in tight.
Smother it all away.
Hold the bag over my head.
Fall away and suffocate.
White turns to black and black would turn to grey.
I count the seconds on the clock,
Wondering why I'm still here for another day.
And I wasn't lying when I said it's not okay.
Times spent staring into the distance,
Contemplating my grave.
A skeleton hand grabs me,
Wraps around my throat.
The blade of the sickle could slice me,
But I'd never really know.
'Cause in a way I'm already dead.
The numbness taking over my head.
Yeah, it's a mess up there
I've tried to work it all out.
It's a mess up there.
I can't seem to find a way out.
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AT FIRST SIGHT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Do we love for seconds
Live in the now
Or wait to see what the future brings
Some way some how
A billion stars to count
A million fishes in the sea
What then, will your heart give to me?
Love is a game of chance
It can come at only a glance
It can come at first light
Yeah, it can come at first sight.
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OUT OF REACH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A moon hangs low,
Nearly touching the water.
I think about her.
I watch
I wish
I dream…
There are times when I wish you were here.
Sitting by my side,
Holding my hand.
Using my shoulder for a cry.
There are times when I wish you had never gone away.
I get tired of reliving the pain,
Of watching you walk away.
The sun reflects like silver and gold,
And I stare out at nothing,
Chasing away the ghosts…
And when I see foot prints in the sand,
I think of yours.
And when I hear the tide come crashing in,
I think of unopened doors.
And when the night fades away,
I miss your moans;
You whispering softly.
Asking me for more.
It was our world,
It was a never ending universe.
It was one,
But now it's all gone…
The day light breaks and I walk into the water,
Heart is broken, carrying stones in my pockets.
There are times when I wish you were here and I wish…
I wish you weren't so out of reach.
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NOISE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Is there such thing as silence
When all we hear and see is violence
The world going off like one big atom bomb
And the night shocked into screams that rip apart the stars
Aren't we tired yet?
How can it be so easy to forget
The pain of all the children?
I'm so sick of violence
For once can't we have just one day of silence?
No more wars
No hate
No executions
For them to repay
Blood for blood
Today
What about love
It's a dream that seems so far away
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RED LIPS BLUE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Mirror faces long and sad
"I don't know who I am",
Says the man staring back
I try to fake a smile
But can't
"This world has nothing to give back"
(Though it really owes me nothing)
Red lips blue
You can take it or leave it
Like a dew soaked paper on your door steps
I'm dying
I'm dying
I know it's true
Red lips turn to blue
and the oxygen is cut off to my brain
I can no longer feel my face
I can no longer remember my name
Or how to get it back again
I'm dying
I'm dying
Red lips blue
Morning comes to me without an hour's sleep
And I'm soaked in sweat from the nightmares I keep
I can't breathe
I can't eat
I choke on words that have no meaning
I'm dying
I know it's true
My red lips turning to blue
There's nothing to say, change, or do
Red lips blue
All I have ever made it's way through
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EXPOSED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's not hard for me to let it go.
It's not hard for me to put on a show.
And I just wanted you -
Wanted you to know:
Inspite of my words,
I'll keep you in my heart wherever I go.
There are times when it's easier for me to cry.
There are days when I just can't say goodbye.
But I wanted you -
Wanted you to know:
You'll always be with me whenever I decide to get go.
(And the sunlight breaks into my head,
Exposing how naked I truly am.
Exposing me to be a boy and not a man.)
I'm weak when I get like this.
So weak that it makes me sick.
A prism of colors bleeding before my eyes.
Becoming the lie that is my life.
I realise...
It's real.
I could die.
I'm exposed -
Like black and white.
By the negative that's become my life.
So I just wanted you -
Wanted you to know:
I'll take you with me wherever I go.
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ANOTHER WAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Time slips by and it's still all the same.
Another decade passes and we still play the game.
We're still playing the same way.
Always playing the blame game.
And we wish it were something else.
Another non-damaged day.
When the medias not telling us lies,
Or leading us the wrong way.
It's hard to see the truth in the lies.
It's harder to see the soul through their eyes.
When all they want is death
And all they want is war
All they want is blood
And to see the masses burn,
But all I want is sleep
I'm too tired of all the hate,
My time is running out,
I don't see another way.
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SEARCH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There was
Me and you
A perfect circle
A shining sun
On a beautiful day
A blue so bright
It made us
Cry
And we sang the song that is our heart
So perfect
So pretty
So...
Are you
I looked into your eyes
Like almonds
nig and brown
Shining like a perfect sun
On a beautiful day
It makes me cry -
And it makes my heart sing
You were my soul
So...
Where are you?
Where are you?
I want you
I need you
I sleep you
I dream you
So...
Why do I feel so alone?
I will find you
I swear that I will.
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DESTINY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sitting in a
room
Lost in the vacuum
Thinking of the reasons,
So many seasons have past.
It's like I was made out of glass.
And I think of her…
Standing at the edge of the world holding her hands.
Lost in the void that was her eves.
I've seen too much
I've loved too much
I've cried too much
That it leaves me out of touch
With who I am inside.
She caressed my face,
But it was numb.
She kissed my lips,
But I couldn't feel her tongue.
And she looked at me,
When it was no longer fun.
The flowers were dead,
And so was the love.
And for awhile you had your way.
Even when I could see your smile
It was much too fake,
As in love I was
I was too blind to see
There was really no such thing as destiny.
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JONATHAN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's my time to
go,
I can feel the needle taking hold
As they steal me cold in the night.
There's no time to say goodbyes
And while I've prepared to die
This feeling leaves my blood cold.
I guess it's that time to release my soul.
But it still don't make it right
To kill just to see me die
I've said I'm sorry
I've apologized a thousand times,
But the only way to forgive is
To see me die – to take my life.
So before I meet my destiny,
Before I'm tossed to the twilight,
Can you please play for me
Mazzy Star one last time.
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SOUR
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You -
Like a lemon's
Sour to the taste.
This love -
My life,
That you've disgraced,
Like a broken record
That can't be changed,
Like a broken heart
You can't replace,
Like a smile that fades
(On the darkest winter day).
And faraway you run away
Leaving a heart behind that's numb.
No, my love, all you do is run.
Not a single happy memory to hang onto,
Not a single kiss can bring to me -
Nothing I want to remember
(On this the coldest day of December).
Like a lemon that burns my tongue,
I still wait for summer to come.
I still wait for the summer rain -
To warm my body - on this the coldest day.
Where is the sun today?
Why did you disgrace me?
Deface me -
Replace me -
Leave a bad taste in my mouth?
No, there'll be no lemonade
On this the coldest day of December,
Only a sour taste,
Only a sour taste to remember.
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ALL AMERICAN COWBOY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
He comes riding
into town on a white horse,
Gator skin boots
And a white ten gallon hat,
Singing, "I got money,
Got lots of cash.
I'm lookin' to buy some love or a piece of ass.
I'll buy anything you got.
I'll turn it into a profit.
What is it you want?
An iPod for your pocket?"
He sips from his petroleum cup,
Black gold with a little bit of cream.
While the rest of the world starves,
And the rest of the world screams.
He's got a star spangled coat,
Red and white chaps.
Likes to scream 'yeehaw!'
With spurs to match.
And he'll dig them into you deeper
Than a fighting rooster
Don't call him 'Sir'.
Don't call him 'Mister'.
"I'm a cowboy son.
One real mean sonofagun.
I can ruin the world faster
Than you can say the word 'fun'."
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HOLD THIS HOPE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We can't see
through to the other side,
Into tunnels with our blood shot eyes.
Our broken veins stain the sands of time,
As we stand alone in the great divide.
Angels and demons wrestle for the crown of kings -
Just us alone holding our clipped wings,
So that we could know what it's like to no longer breathe.
To no longer fly.
To no longer see the sun up close.
What was once thought to be.
Eternity is nothing more than a shattered dream.
"Hold this hope", she said.
"Hold my hand."
"Hold this love", she said.
"Hold my head."
"Hold this heart", she said.
"As I take my last breath."
"Hold this hope", she said.
But this hope leaves me dead.
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FEEL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Don't go -
don't leave me here,
Don't leave me here without.
I feel you slipping back again
I feel you giving out.
The sharpened swords -
The broken words,
That make me scream and shout.
I knew it all was over,
Before we crashed the clouds.
(When daydreams don't work
And prayers don't heal,
The nightmare forks
The love I feel.)
I thought you had it all.
I thought you were the world.
Even when the insults stung,
You were my precious girl.
The knife sharp words.
The world turned over.
They cut me to the bone.
I knew it all was over -
Before I went back home.
(When daydreams don't bring happiness
And smiles just don't heal,
The nightmares feed my loneliness.
But never,
No never,
Never stop this love I still feel.) |
I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP SOMETIMES
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Laying in grass
and leaves;
The flowers bloom lovely.
The rain feeds the world,
While there's nothing left to hold (for me).
Clouds bleeding,
The sky remains -
My only solace.
My only way to feel the pain.
I cry myself to sleep again.
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YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's hard to
understand,
I'll admit it myself.
How one man makes such bad mistakes -
How one man kills himself.
But even if I try to explain,
All the things that go 'round my brain -
And all the thoughts that run away…
It's hard to really say,
That really I'm just running away
From fears that have controlled me
All of my Life.
You'll never understand.
Don't think you'll ever see.
That even though I mess up,
I'm really just trying to be -
The best person that I can be.
And even when I mess up,
No matter how much I fess up,
You'll never really believe me.
So…
Why do I try?
Why do I fight?
Why do I hang on to this life -
If you feel I have no right.
What's the point?
It's the difference between black and white.
Nothing I ever say or do will ever make it right.
You'll never understand,
When I say that I am sorry,
How sincere I truly am.
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END GAME (GAME OVER)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
The chances and
changes -
Still everything remains the same.
Broken promises,
Your love in vain.
I cursed the reasons,
But played the game.
Born to rearrange.
- But -
Forgot to check myself back in again.
Running away has gotten old.
Knowing youth has grown stale.
The times I've loved,
Have only brought hell.
(But I played the game -
Took the chances
I played the game,
Had short lived romances.
Yeah, I played the game,
Lost again
And again and again and again...)
Yeah, it's the end game again.
Game over I guess.
It's all the same.
It's all the fucking same.
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HIDING FROM THE SUN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A silver sun
beating down on me.
Where is the shade so I can see?
I hide beneath a tree,
And keep it all from burning me.
In a land where I'm not free.
Is this the way it was meant to be?
I'm jumping in and out -
Of worlds that don't exist.
Lost in thought,
I agree my life's a mess.
Why detest,
Or try to profess,
That ugliness is truth -
And we're all running from the sun.
Just trying to stay in the shade.
Faraway…
From reality.
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NEVER BE THE SAME
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You punish me
for another's hate.
It's my heart that you blame.
It's my heart that you break.
What's so sad is you didn't even hesitate.
But now it's just too late.
You lied to me.
Disguised the truth to me.
Didn't you say you believe in honesty?
What comes now?
What comes next?
I can never look at you the same.
It will never be the same.
It's me that you've shamed.
I feel so lame…
And foolish.
What can I do,
When it's me that you've punished.
Meanwhile the world around me laughs.
We will never again cross paths.
It will never be the same.
It can never be the same.
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IT IS WHAT IT IS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Do you let it
all end?
Do you walk away?
From every loving thing we did
From every promise that we made
Can you remember the first time you looked into my eyes?
"You have eyes to die for", you said.
And I can remember the first time,
The first words,
The last goodbye.
But now all you can say is, "It is what it is".
Even when I always beg, don't let it end.
I guess I can't really pretend
Or hold back what I'm really feeling inside.
I don't see the same girl anymore,
I can't feel the same anymore.
Do you really want to say goodbye?
Do I pretend not to cry?
Look back at everything we did.
Oh well. She said -
"It is what it is".
|
GOOD NIGHT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I stumbled
I fell
I fumbled
I held
Your love
In my hands
I loved you early in the mornings
Even when you yelled
I crumbled
Just to kiss you
Just to see you smile
Sun rise
Goodnight
You said with a sigh
But it's not even evening
I cried
The days not even falling
The nights not even calling
Our names
Blame
Only playing games
I held
I stumbled
This time I yelled
Even when the moon hasn't risen.
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ONLY PLACE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm lost in
your heart.
I'm one with your soul.
And even when I don't know,
Which direction I should go -
You're the only place that I can call home.
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ENTRANCE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Why can't I
recieve you?
Why can't I recieve truth?
Why can't I recieve what I want to believe in -
Why don't prayers go answered,
And wishes come true?
Why can't I believe in what's not right in front of your eyes?
Deep inside the see grows.
The flower blooms.
I want to hope.
I want the truth.
So...
Where are you -
If not right in front of my eyes?
They call you truth.
They call you divine.
Though, the pain won't subside -
Even when I try to invite you in.
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CRY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
(words inspired
by Explosion In The Sky's "The Moon Is Down")
Don't cry.
I told you.
I need you.
I love you.
Even if I have to go.
I won't be gone long.
I'll always be your love song.
Don't cry.
Please let those tears dry.
I wish I could kiss you a thousand times.
And even if I can't -
I love you.
I won't be gone forever.
I told you.
I still need you.
I love you.
I'll wait forever.
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DISINTEGRATE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I think I've
finally accepted my fate.
Love this time has come too late.
And now as I watch it all disintegrate right in front of my eyes.
I can't say that I was taken by surprise.
There's no more hidden chances.
No long distance romances.
My luck with love always seems to fall straight through.
Brings me to my knees,
Brings me to ruins.
Chewing on finger and nails.
Heart burned by the flames of dark spells.
(I guess it would be easier to say oh well, but hell... I can't)
Fate.
She ran away.
Fate.
She won't be coming back today.
I can watch it all disintegrate.
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FREEDOM SONG
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Outside my
window,
Sitting in a tree,
A small bird sings.
She brings to me -
The greatest gift of life.
A song.
A short little song,
That makes me want to sing along.
And while the bird sings free,
I sit in a cage.
Others watch me.
Singing my own little freedom song. |
STRONGER THAN THIS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Babe,
Don't let it defeat you.
Don't let them beat you.
We are stronger than this.
Babe,
When time seems to be against us,
When the world seems to want to eat us,
Know that we can win this.
We are stronger than this.
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DEATH ROW CHRISTMAS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It' Christmas
again;
And here I wait still,
Facing the end to another long year.
When all is calm,
But all is not still.
When the night is broken by cold sweat and chills.
No egg nog to drink.
No blinking bright lights.
No twinkling white snow.
No turkey or ham.
Or Christmas television shows.
No Stalkings to hang.
No fire place to watch.
No Santa Clause.
No candy canes.
No gifts to swap.
It's Christmas again;
And so I pray,
That next year's not the end.
And I should live to see the next day.
Where's the snow?
Where's the love?
Where's the lights?
Where's the hope?
Christmas...
It comes and goes.
Christmas...
On Death Row.
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MISERY LOVES COMPANY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Where do I go?
What should I do -
When someone tries to the other shoe?
Do I act out in revenge -
Or try to pretend that this hasn't eaten away at me.
On suffer from this person's apathy.
I know,
Misery loves company…
And it sure loves him.
So, what should I do?
Let it all end -
Or let it begin?
Be the animal (of my primal rage)…
Wash over him like a tidal wave…
Come down on him like a tsunami -
Or should I just let it be -
Let him rot away in his own flea infested,
Maggot ridden legacy?
Let this be his destiny…
Because misery loves company…
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VAMPIRES
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We are the
vampires
A world sucked dry
- By -
Evil and hate
Oil and war
Soon water will be our next kill source
The sun will bring us death
When it should give us life
While the blood runs thick
In streams of
Red river mud
Polluting mother's milk
Baby bottles with poisoned plastic
We've become plastic people
Do we care?
When people run over each other for material wares
For Ipods
And Iphones
Walmart
We are humans
But we ain't that smart
Are we
- Truth -
It's easier to turn it off
Than to turn it on
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DISEASED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I have to
silence my head.
I have to silence my screams.
I've fallen victim to the germs
Of another man's disease.
There's no one to help me.
No one to lend a hand.
No love to lean upon.
No one who understands.
So, here I stand -
like a broken man.
Holding my heart,
In my blood soaked hands…
Slowly consumed by this man's disease.
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NOVEMBER (Guess I was wrong again)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Last year -
November -
My life was never the same again.
This year - November -
Has only brought me pain again.
When finally everything had gone my way.
I was happy -
In love again.
I thought nothing could ever go wrong again.
Guess I was wrong again.
It's the same old song.
It always is…
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MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND (an acrostic)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Maybe you don't
understand what you mean to me.
All I have ever done is believe in you.
Longing to one day touch you.
In all of this -
All I ever wanted was your love.
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THE CURSE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm cursed, I
really believe…
I'm cursed, can't you see?
Nothing really belongs to me.
Nothing is ever here to stay.
I've been cursed in this way.
It'll probably remain -
Until the day I'm in a grave.
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BLUE FLAME
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A blue flame,
Consuming me.
Eating away at my oxygen.
I can't breathe,
Don't let it be our end.
A fire so hot.
A love in pain.
Burning up my heart,
I'm in flames -
praying for a cleansing rain.
My screams,
My dreams ,
Consuming me
Why would anyone do this to me?
Or us…
Why would anyone try to burn us up?
Why is this red turning to blue?
What do I have to do to prove,
That I had been nothing but true.
But this blue flame still burns.
Exhaust this flame.
Make me whole again.
|
BEAUTIFUL FACE (Don't Walk Away)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Beautiful face
-
Where did you go?
Lovely woman -
I need to know..
I can't get you out of my head.
Your face (Don't walk away)
Your love -
All frozen in time.
Why can't I gaze -
Into those eyes one more time?
Why can't you whisper that you're still mine?
Try as I may -
I can't stop thinking of your beautiful face.
Full of grace and enchantment.
Don't you know you haunt me?
Please don't walk away…
Don't take away -
That beautiful face.
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LIKE FALL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
In the cool
breeze,
We sit beneath our tree.
The one that you carved our name's into.
You smile at me,
Your head resting on my knees.
It always felt too good to be true.
As floating leaves pass by,
you watched tears fall from my eyes.
You whispered, "I love you"…
(We were like fall)
I remember and I wish
That life wasn't as harsh as it is
When I had hope in my hands
When I didn't have to try to understand
Love was what it was
And you were what it is
Yeah, sometimes I wish that life wasn't as cold as it can get.
I moved to kiss your lips.
Your head resting on my hips.
Sitting beneath our tree,
As you gave into me...
And it's disappeared - it's all gone.
A life frozen in time.
No more tears over you.
I won't try this time.
I don't care this time.
I don't care if we were like fall.
But you know that's a lie…
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MY RAGE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Can you really
be that low -
To fuck with a love that continues to grow?
Your life is sad,
Pathetic,
Cheap,
And miserable.
Odd that your life is still valuable -
If only you wanted it to be.
Instead you zero in on me,
Try to play dirty.
Do you really think I'm that weak?
Do you really want to mess with me?
Do you really want to threaten me?
I'll be like thorns in your feet…
I'll give up my peace -
To find out who you are -
Nothing but
Cheap,
Pathetic,
And miserable -
Yeah, count those syllables -
Sucker.
|
TEST
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I don't believe
you any more.
I don't believe you any more.
'Cause if you really want to leave –
I'll show you to the door.
I can't believe you any more.
But I won't love you any less.
If you really want to go -
I'll put you to the test.
(What makes it hard on me is you had my heart.
I may not let go right away,
But I can surely try to start.)
I don't believe you any more.
I don't believe you any more.
'Cause if you really want to leave –
I'll walk you to the door.
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BANG BANG
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Does shooting
plastic pistols at the TV
add to a child's naivety?
When we are all told that Jesus saves
and bodies fill mass graves…
As bombs explode by
and people in the streets die.
Our video games are the only real flames.
Day by day souls sucked away.
War was just a game,
something to protect the interests of you and me.
Another bomb explodes in the street.
Somewhere another child loses an eye.
Arm.
Leg.
Head.
Bang Bang…
We're all dead.
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RINSE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Washed away.
A love rearranged.
All I ever wanted was a chance to play -
Without my heart being cut away;
Or turned away in shame.
My heart defaced.
You watch my tears stream down my face…
As my love for you is rinsed away.
|
6:00 P.M.
(This title
is in reference to the time that Texas performs its executions)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
This place is haunted.
Death fills the air.
Distorts my perceptions -
Death is everywhere.
When life is grey.
And love is pain.
Ghosts freeze the day.
Keep us from staying sane.
This place is haunted.
Fills you up with dread.
You can count away the days –
And soon you too will be dead.
No time left.
The clock is running out.
The voices will remind you –
When it's time to check out.
This place is haunted.
It's the only place they know.
6:00 P.M. reads the clock -
Guess it's time to go.
|
SIXTEEN PAST TEN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
16 past 10
Another night,
Saturday night and nothing to do
Another night,
Another lost night feeling blue.
(and Robert Smith sang drip drip drip)
What else is there to do,
When all I can do is think of you?
As night turns (drip drip drip)
Into you (drip drip drip)
As Robert Smith sings drip drip drip..
I'm falling apart.
Saturday night.
Where's my heart,
This Saturday night?
(And Robert Smith sang drip drip drip drip drip drip)
16 past 10
16 past 10
It begins…
It all ends…
Why can't it all end?
|
EKG
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Beep...
June?
June?
Where are you?
Are you home?
Beep.
Where are you?
I'm alone.
Are you fine?
'Cause I'm not.
I'm alone.
Beep...
Pick up the phone.
Summer has never felt this cold.
I called like I was told.
Pick up the phone.
Beep...
June,
I don't want to be in the dark.
Don't leave me in the dark!
Have you no heart?
June?
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
|
PONE (Pone
is a type of cake.. Just a little FYI :))
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I’d given up.
Spilled over my cup;
Time and time again.
Never thought
I’d find it again.
I wanted to have my cake (and eat it too)
Never thought I’d fall into you.
This seemed just to good to be true.
But there’s not much to do,
But take a bite now.
Deserve it or not,
I have fought;
(Even when my mind never understood why)
In spite of my distraught.
Damn this tastes good tonight.
|
WISH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Black ice
falling from a white sky.
A winter chill in a summers night.
You are here, I hold you tight.
A warm embrace, before I die.
I kiss your lips, we start to cry.
As you brush the tears away from my eyes.
(I am gone soul drifting away,
I am gone there's no more pain.
No more suffering,
It's all been washed away – or one can wish anyways…)
A scream breaks a blood red sky,
My heart busts open,
Shatters the night.
I wake up alone,
You're not here.
Now I'm drowning in a pool of fears.
Drowning in a thousand tears.
Drowning because you're not here.
(I am gone send me on my way,
I am gone take away my pain.
I don't want to suffer,
Wash it all away – or I'd like to wish anyway.)
|
BORN AGAIN (covered)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Cover me, bury
me
Get rid of me;
Can God really save me?
Covered in dirt
six feet beneath the earth
Clawing to find the light of day.
I’m calling to see if I can be saved.
I’ve never prayed this hard;
Or this way- Is it true I can find grace?
Will I rest in peace or fall apart into pieces.
Covered by dirt, I’ve had enough of this hurt,
I’ve had enough to drive me insane..
This pain will..
Drain
Drain
Drain
How will I be
Saved
Saved
Saved
Where is God’s face?
|
RETURN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm going home
to you today.
'Cause everything in my mind’s okay.
I see a perfect sky.
Bright and blue.
I know there’s nothing wrong,
Between me and you.
(But in reality nothing seems right. In reality nothing seems
fair. No one seems to love. No one seems to care. I’m falling down
I’m broken down. Broke over you. I want to return, return home to
You...)
I’m going home to you today.
Cause everything in mind is okay.
I see a perfect smile,
Eyes shining bright.
There are no more tears,
Between me and you tonight.
( Let me return. Just let me be. Let me come home. Let reality
be what I want it to be. It’s not right, and it’s not fair. No one
seems to love. No one seems to care. We’re all cold. We’re all so
numb. Broken down, from falling down; Where’s the return? )
I’m going home today.
I wish everything in my mind was okay.
|
AESTHETICS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I fall in love
with beauty.
Aesthetics and all.
The fall.
To forget how ugly I feel inside.
A fall.
From grace-
To disgrace.
To fill this void with a pretty face.
I’m inclined to erase the decline.
Of my aesthetically challenged life.
Symmetrically - I’m really incongruent.
|
INTO THE DEPTHS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Here I am, a
child again
Full of promise, but nowhere to begin.
Broken teeth, and broken dreams
Here I am, a child again.
Daddy says he love me
Mommy says she cares
They break my heart with abandonment
They fill me with despair.
Why do I remember eating off a floor
Why do I remember being twisted and torn?
My brother only an infant
But I’d protect him forever
I’d protect him in an instant
(Where are you dear brother?)
Oh, we were so young-
Live’s barely begun
Look at me now,
Just look at me now
Wondering how..
When youth had so much promise
When the world seemed to give
Now I’ve been swallowed-no more room to begin
So I disappear-fallen into despair
Sink swallow and swim
Back in the womb, back into the depths
To face my only fear
Yeah, I’m a child again.
I’m a child again.
|
ALIBI
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Ignite.
Ignite.
A star explodes tonight.
But will we ever reunite-
Under the black moon sky?
And why-
Why do you say those things;
And still cry?
Will we ever be alright,
When your alibi was never air tight.
My heart explodes under a black moon sky.
Ignite.
Ignite.
No more tears tonight.
Please,
No more tears my dear.
When your alibi was never air tight.
It will never feel right.
(Is it any wonder why..
Alibi rhymes with lie?)
|
WHAT DO DREAMS MEAN?
(by Randy E. Halprin)
In my dream
I’m screaming
in my dream
I'm swinging
laughter and cries
surround me
I'm kicking
I'm pleading
please don’t let me down!
the voices they taunt
the voices they haunt
FEED HIM!
THROW HIM TO THE BEAST!!
THROW THE BOY TO THE GATOR!
HE SURELY NEEDS TO EAT!
like a hammock
I'm rocking
inching closer to the teeth
one last heave ho
and my parents let go of me..
|
IGNORANCE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Judge me and
hate me.
Lacking such empathy in your heart.
Committing murder in your soul –
Trying to tear me apart.
Using words of hatred to slay,
(My views are distorted you say?
No understanding,
Making snap shot judgments with an out of focus lens.
If compassion is distorted –
Well, what's yours then?
I'd much rather embrace compassion,
Than your obsession to hate.
So, you say you'll toast to my death.
That's what I get.
I'm a poster boy for executions.
I deserve to be dead.
You know?
I think it's you who's sick.
Self absorbed in ignorance.
|
ETERNAL YOUTH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
An obsession
To live forever
Beneath the tree of life –
To bite from the apple of
Wisdom
And escape this
Doom
A peril of mankind
(Total)
Awareness of soul
And mind
Something that's not yet mine
Out of touch with time
To never cry
Or ever die
A chance
To get it right
In this life
If only I had forever
If only I had more time |
DON'T LET ME DROWN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Adrift…
Slowly slipping.
Just an arms length away.
On the waters of your ocean,
Drowning in your waves.
I reach…
Try to keep myself from sinking.
Trying to grab a hold of anything.
You're only an arms length away.
But maybe…
Maybe it's too late.
|
GRACE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Grace.
Mistakes.
Atonement we shall make.
For our sins.
For the sake of our love.
Faith will not fade.
In a time filled with so much hate.
(So Grace, she sings to me.
Grace, she says she loves me.
Regardless of my mistakes.
Grace, she forgives me.
This, she will not take.)
We're all human inside.
We're all divine.
|
TEAR DOWN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We were so hard to build,
But much easier to tear down.
Love crumbled into ruins;
And deafened by the sound
Divided our love into parts,
Parts and pieces of our hearts.
What love can’t be poisoned?
What happiness can’t be ruined?
Tear,
Tear my down again.
It seems it never ends.
Tear,
Tear me down again.
So that I can’t pretend…
Like Babel.
Like Pompeii.
One big doomed play.
Tear,
Tear me down again.
Will it ever end?
Tear,
Tear me down again.
I don’t want to pretend.
Like Babel.
Like Pompeii.
What more is there to say?
|
STAY PLEASE STAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Calling on your name,
In the same old stupid ways.
When all you do is play your games,
Am I getting in the way?
Would you tell me that I’m wrong,
If I knew that you were right?
Always getting in your way,
Without me ever putting up a fight?
(Stay please stay!
I am wrong,
You are right.
Stay please stay!
Please just one more night…)
Breaking glass to cut my hands;
It’s a pain you can’t understand.
Broken mirrors, scream your name!
Yeah, I’ll play your stupid games.
Yeah, I’ll play your stupid games…
|
NEED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I need it more than you could ever know.
I love her more than I could ever show.
Yet, every morning I wake up more alone.
Another tear for silence,
Another heart without a home.
I bleed it more than, wounds that cannot heal.
I'm lost in thoughts of blackness from words that she will steal.
For every evening when I pray and kneel.
Another ache for substance,
Another moment that I lose my will…
|
THRIVE (My Loss)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
My weakness,
My loss of prowess;
Comes from having a heart that thrives on love.
Taking that away from me would be like –
Would be like poisoning superman with Kryptonite.
Take my ability to love away and it's like –
It's like ripping my soul out of it's shell.
It's like sending me directly to hell.
I want to thrive.
It's what pulls me from the void.
Take love away from –
And I can be destroyed.
|
|
This is a song I was
writing the other day, but couldn't quite get the rest of the words to
come out, but in a way what stands says more than enough. It's about
longing for lost youth…
1529
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'd rather hold her hand.
I'd rather see her smile.
Run my fingers through her hair.
Just kiss her for awhile.
When a kiss was about exploring.
Young romance was about adoring.
Enjoying the moment.
I think my heart will always want this…
Chorus: ('Cause I'd rather be fifteen than twenty nine. I'd rather
stay young, than to live just to die. Who at fifteen felt more alive?
I'd rather be fifteen than twenty nine.)
|
MISTAKE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Staring at a white wall.
I dream awake.
Silently she stirs.
Images of my mistakes.
They flash before my eyes.
I sit and I shake.
I can't stop this shivering
Or this growing hate.
|
BEAUTIFULLY BORING
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You're so beautifully boring,
Adoring.
Staring out at nothing.
This yearning for you,
Won't cease though.
You could sit and stare forever,
And I would still be lost in you.
Adoring you.
Taking you in.
We don't need words,
Only eyes.
Only this silence that passes us by.
Beautiful –
And boring.
As time passes us by.
|
MK ULTRA
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Subliminally,
Your words are seeping into my brain.
Washing over me,
Pouring into me like acid rain.
I never want to think for myself again.
My brain rotting away.
Wastefully,
Why does love lie so blindedly?
You've covered me, smothered me.
Taken away my ability to see.
Lost me in white noise.
Suffocated by this black void.
My ability to think clearly…
Has been destroyed.
|
WALK AWAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Violently,
You've shaken me.
Opened me up,
Like a never healing wound.
Miserably,
Shaking with grief.
I fall down on bruised knees.
Tired of your duplicity.
Your mockery of me.
If I'm to be…
If I'm to ever be at peace.
Then you'll have to leave.
Turn away at the beginning.
Stop wasting your tears on something that was never meant to be.
Stop wasting your tears on me.
Just leave.
Just walk away.
I've got nothing more to say.
|
FINIS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's over.
It's really over this time.
No being nice,
Tired of being kind.
Patience is out the window.
It's time to say goodbye.
No vacant promises.
Words empty and void.
You tore me in two.
It's my heart that you've destroyed.
|
HANGING ON A HOPE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm hanging.
Just barely,
By a thread.
A fiber of hope.
But I can't continue to do this.
To wish it into existence.
I can't dangle from the edge I'm on.
Because I'm one thread.
One single thread.
Away from insanity.
I can't keep waiting
For you to come around.
To see the err in your ways.
I'm barely hanging...
Losing grip.
I can't keep hanging on a hope.
I'm destined to slip.
|
CROCODILE TEARS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
If I had a penny for every crocodile tear you've cried,
I'd be one hell of a rich guy.
|
DIVINE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Relax.
Breathe.
In and out,
Come to me.
It's not the end.
It could never be.
Relax.
Feel eternity.
Feel my soul.
Join with me.
Hold my hands.
We'll always be.
I drink from your essence,
Drink you completely.
Breathe.
It's not too late.
We'll reunite -
If only at heavens gate.
Because time nor love ever really dies.
Feel me.
Feel the divine.
It's never too late.
|
PHOENIX
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I will rise again,
From fire and your games.
You may have brought me down,
But here I am again.
My heart is new,
But you thought you could
Burn me in your flames.
You thought you could
Ruin me again.
Chorus:
(I will spread my wings.
I can fly away.
As far away from you -
As far as night is day.)
I will love again.
Of this I am sure.
No longer will I burn again.
No, no more broken words.
I'll rise amidst the ashes.
And from the pain you bring.
I am a phoenix.
And you are nothing.
You are nothing.
That's right:
You are nothing to me.
Repeat chorus:
(I will spread my wings....)
|
C.O.D. (Collect On Delivery
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Speak through me.
Whisper to me.
Like an explosion in the night,
For all to see.
I'd give up everything,
To only be
(With You).
I'd sell my soul,
For one more day
(With you).
God, why can't you see?
All that you mean to me.
Exposing my soul,
For all the world to see.
I'd sell my soul,
For a chance to be yours.
I'd sell my soul,
To only be with you one last time.
You can collect on delivery.
|
VIOLA
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sadness weeps through stained wood.
Sadness sings,
Disparity and pain through tightened strings.
Sadness speaks and sadness clings.
It's all she can bring to me.
Ambient hopelessness again.
Viola…
Play for me.
Comfort me through your pain.
Viola…
Play for me,
Tell me all will be okay.
|
I. V.
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Every life taken,
Tears another soul.
Every breath stolen,
Breaks another mold.
Every needle puncture,
Makes a small hole.
Rips apart at the seams,
Tears humanity as a whole.
I'm exhausted from all this death.
Man kills man.
Blood and Lust.
Will we end this madness,
Of revenge and regret?
A thousand years of blood.
Why can't we love instead?
A thousand years of blood,
Why can't we forgive.
Mean while,
The I.V. rips…
|
INTERNAL BLEEDING
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I can't believe,
My disbelief,
In a broken dream,
That never favored me to begin with.
Chance always implicated
I would fall apart.
Fate dictated,
I be without.
And now...
I'm stuck,
With my guts inside out.
I'm bleeding from inside out.
I've internalized too much pain. |
QUENCH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm so hungry for your lips.
I'm so thirsty for your kiss.
I'll never quite see why you are starving me.
Depriving me.
Of what we used to be.
I'm so hungry.
I'm so hungry.
Let me please
Take a bite of you.
Let me drink from you.
Let me kiss your lips.
Quench my thirst.
My desire for you lingers on…
|
ANOTHER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Another day.
Another day.
Another word.
Another way.
Broken promises,
Can't find a way.
What do we have,
Left to say?
You don't say yes.
you can't say no.
Leave with a maybe.
But nowhere left to go.
Another day.
Another day.
Another word.
So here I'll wait.
Another world.
You don't return.
Another lie.
Now it's too late.
|
|
NO SECOND CHANCE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
When I'm gone,
How will you feel?
What burdens will you bear?
And the regrets that won't let you heal.
There is no second chance…
I'm only giving you heads up.
Warning you once.
Because when I'm gone,
You can't raise me up.
There's no returning from the grave.
No matter how you'll hurt,
And the mistakes you have made.
It's your choice.
It seems the choice you have made.
(Once I'm gone…
When I'm gone…
There is no second chance.
Once I'm gone…
When I'm gone…
There is no second chance.)
|
ALL WRONG
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Could I have it all wrong?
My perspective on life,
Love,
Souls,
And songs…
Where does it all come from?
Where does it all dwell?
Is it in my mind
Or in my heart…?
Could it come from heaven?
Or could it come from hell?
Could I be wrong?
–Each time I fall in love…
Is love in chemicals,
Or does it come from something more lyrical?
When I fall down,
When I fall in love.
When I fall each time…
Could I have it all wrong?
|
I COULD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I could hate you,
But I choose not to
Hold a grudge.
Because…
If I can't forgive,
How can I ask
To be forgiven?
|
CHRONIC DISORDER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Worse than having my eyeballs dug out with spoons.
Worse than being hung from the moon.
Worse than falling on my face for you.
– Is how I still feel about you.
Worse than being run over by a train.
Worse than drowning in the rain.
Worse than blowing out my brains.
– Is how I still fall for you.
Over and over and over again.
Don't say maybe, don't say pretend.
Lying to wait.
Dying to be friends.
It's the last beat of our hearts that marks our end.
Worse than freezing in the cold.
Worse than feeling a hundred years old.
Worse than being crushed by the fold…
No, nothing could ever hurt worse than having fallen in love with you.
|
PINT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You could've taken my very last pint…
The only bit of blood my heart had left to pump.
That's what I would've given to you.
That's how much I loved you…
All you had to do was ask.
|
FOOL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Just like a fool,
I will fall for you again.
Just like a fool,
I will call for you again.
You'll step all over me.
And even though I can see.
My love is blind,
I am weak.
You'll stomp all over me.
But just like a fool,
I'll continue to let you .
|
PORCELAIN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I told you not to let go of me.
I told you that I was made of porcelain.
Damn…
It hurts to be a million shattered pieces on the floor.
|
MY RANT AND RAVE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
One nation,
In disguise.
One nation,
Liberty and lies.
My lady,
She has blinded eyes.
Her green dress flows,
As the hard wind blows,
And those with hard ones,
Want to rip off her clothes.
Beat and bruise.
Do as we say,
Not as we do.
But if we are truly free -
And "freedom" is the world's destiny.
Why do we abuse Democracy?
Like liberty is someone to be whored out.
As she screams and shouts.
Falling death upon some of our ears.
'Cause when those towers fell,
Silently the world stood still.
The gates of hell were opened,
Like a chasm of chaos in our hearts.
Two hundred years of progress,
Took five hundred years backwards -
Into the dark.
Then suddenly we felt we had the right.
To attack other nations like a thief in the night.
To force our culture,
Our ways,
On those, who have been brought up in thousands of years of what they
believe.
The toil,
For their oil.
The children screamed,
"Why are those planes bombing me?"
While back at the ranch,
The Figure Head,
The God Head,
(Who talks to God himself...)
Says, "This is to protect our right to be free!"
Free?
"Free?" My lady screamed.
You can spy on me.
Take my rights from me.
And somehow I'm supposed to believe,
This is how the world should be?
Liberty, she cries, "They're raping me! They're killing my children!"
And we...
We just turn on our T.V.s and rub our fattened bellies and say, "Boy,
isn't freedom great?"
|
VULNERABLE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm vulnerable right now.
And you've figured out how.
To take advantage of my kindness.
I'm bendable right now.
And you've found a way how.
To take advantage of my heart.
To stop before you start.
|
LEVIATHAN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
The Leviathan swallows me inside.
Now I know what it feels like,
To be hurt by someone else's lies.
Maybe if I knew, -
How deep this pain would be,
I'd never have told a single lie in my past...
Because this hurt is much too deep.
I didn't think lies had such sharp teeth.
And now...
I'm in the corridor.
The belly of the beast.
This leviathan.
This lie.
These lies are killing me.
|
BLACK BILE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Black Bile.
I can't smile.
Not even for a short while.
I feel miles away from reality -
Or whatever
that is.
I've been disillusioned,
By the illusion of peace.
|
DUMBFOUNDED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Why?
So many tears,
We lost our life.
Why?
So many years,
We have sacrificed.
Just to feel true joy.
When we looked into each others eyes.
And now I really can't figure out how.
- Or why...
You ran away without saying goodbye.
Oh why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why must so much pain fall from my eyes?
I admit I was surprised.
Please tell me why.
What have we sacrificed?
Just so you can have your own life.
(But what about mine?)
Why?
|
NOTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There you were,
The woman of my dreams.
Impossible to touch.
Impossible it seemed.
Your gorgeous eyes.
Your gorgeous smile.
Impossible to look at you,
For only a short while.
I miss you telling me, "I love you, Baby".
I miss you saying, "I love your eyes, Randy".
Impossible as it seemed,
I could never truly give up on the dream.
But now all I can do is scream...
Because I've lost you forever,
Or so it seems.
I miss you in a hundred
thousand different ways.
I pray to win you back,
Because I feel nothing's impossible,
Today. |
THREE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I've never felt these feelings.
These feelings deep inside.
But they came pouring out in oceans.
Oceans I have cried.
And I feel like I am drowning,
Getting pulled in by the tide.
A sea of my emotions,
That I could no longer hide.
And so these tears wash over me.
Pouring out my fears.
I'd never felt these feelings.
Now exposed by three failed years.
(Of Love)
|
MORE TIME
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I sit here with a hole in my chest.
Slightly lost,
Slightly depressed.
I can't seem to get you off of my mind.
As I look at the red glowing numbers on my clock,
In the dark,
I only wish I had more time.
Because what once was,
Is no longer mine.
I only wish I had more time...
|
FAITH... SHATTERED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You hold my situation against me.
Even though I tried to warn you,
What would happen all along.
Yeah, I told you what would happen eventually.
So you go out and forget me.
You forget me on new years eve.
Did you think I wouldn't see what was happening?
I could hear the cord snap.
Feel our love shatter.
I had so much faith.
I was willing to climb the ladder.
Instead,
My faith was shattered.
|
CHANGED TOO MUCH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Mariposa,
Where are you now?
Mariposa,
I can't figure it out.
You changed.
You grew,
And flew.
At first I was proud,
That you had broken from your cocoon.
But the butterfly I knew,
Has flown away.
The butterfly I loved,
is not the same.
Mi linda mariposa has gone astray,
and left me with the shell she was yesterday.
|
|
|
IT'S YOUR FAULT IF I
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's your fault if I…
Yeah, it's been on my mind.
To reach for that crutch again,
Bleed until I die again.
It's your fault if I…
Yeah, it's on my mind.
To end it all,
And fly.
Because I gave you my breath.
Pledged all I had.
You messed up my head.
And left me for dead.
So, yeah, it's your fault.
No matter what you think.
If I decide to leave,
Or take this last drink.
It's your fault if I…
|
BLUE AND GREY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Blue.
Blue.
Yeah, I knew.
Grey.
Grey.
It would end this way.
And so I'm blue.
The sky is grey.
And our love has been washed away.
|
SLEEPING PEACEFULLY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Last night as I went to bed,
And slipped off into sleep.
I dreamt of two souls,
Walking a beach.
I could hear their laughter.
I could see the glow of their heads.
They were holding each other.
Tight in their arms.
Kissing each other,
Under the stars…
But then I woke up.
I realized I was all alone.
|
SWALLOWED WHOLE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
My eyes.
My pride.
Swallowed deeply inside.
My life I tried.
I was swallowed alive.
I can't say I was surprised.
|
QUITTER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Quitter.
You flushed it down the shitter.
You gave up a little too soon.
And now there's no room –
For an excuse.
Quitter.
I guess you can say I'm a bit bitter.
Because you gave up too soon.
Reflected on our doom –
You said I was your excuse.
|
CAST ASIDE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
What's your problem?
What's the deal?
I lifted your spirits,
I helped you heal.
I gave you support.
Helped you build.
Your self esteem,
And your own will.
I never really asked for much in return.
Except loyalty,
And friendship –
Instead I burn.
I've been cast aside,
While you have your fun.
I've been left to die,
While you run.
|
BROKEN MIRROR
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Can you see your face reflected in my eyes?
Because I can see my tears falling in your eyes.
You know I always stood by your side.
I never thought I'd stand here listening to our love cry.
I gave my all to be your one.
I sacrificed lives and came undone.
Can you see the face you said you loved?
Or am I the person you have abandoned.
|
TIRED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of broken promises.
I'm tired of being pushed aside.
Tired of having my heart trampled upon.
I'm tired of being torn up.
Beaten and bruised.
I'm tired of you giving up,
Only to come back running.
I'm so tired…
So, I'll rest my head tonight,
And pray to God that I will never wake up.
Because to be honest,
I really need some sleep.
|
CONCRETE SHOES
(by Randy E. Halprin)
They put concrete shoes on me.
They threw me into the sea.
With chains wrapped around me,
Squeezing so tight I could barely breathe.
(As I was sinking down, I knew I'd probably drown. There'd be no one
around and I wouldn't be found. Water would fill up my lungs and I
would try to scream: My life had barely begun!)
But at the last moment,
Something pulled me up.
Gave me hope…
Only to later let me go.
And so…
I did end up drowning anyways.
|
HollyWood Ending
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I want an ending like a movie.
Happy and moving.
As the credits roll by,
There'll be tears in their eyes –
Not a dry face in the room.
They'll all applaud and come back to watch – again.
Because who needs reincarnation,
when you're a memory in someone's mind?
I'll be like a DVD or a song stuck on repeat.
They'll all have smiles,
In my Hollywood ending.
|
BY THE WAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm not one to boast or gloat,
But had it not been for me,
You'd still be staying home.
You'd be afraid to go outside,
To do the things you now do in life.
I did everything I could to make you smile.
Made you feel special,
and beautiful inside.
And who, may I ask,
Will carry that torch?
Who will make you feel,
like the best on earth?
Who will tell you the things that I did?
Treat you in the ways that I did?
Make you feel as beautiful as I did?
Incase you haven't figured it out.
Incase you haven't tried.
By the way:
I'm one of a kind.
|
JUST LIKE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Just like a ghost;
My soul is stranded somewhere between heaven and hell.
Tortured.
Screaming in pain,
For things unchanged,
I'm still in chains to the fears I have.
Just like a ghost,
I can't let go,
Of what's really no longer mine.
My body.
My spirit.
My heart.
My mind.
|
NEW YEAR'S '96
(by Randy E. Halprin)
My last new years eve,
My last new years free.
It was 1996.
I was in a motel.
We were all drunk.
I remember frolicking on the floor.
What was the song we played for the year?
I think it was "These are the days"
By 10,000 maniacs.
But that's long past.
How on earth do I remember this crap?
|
FAITH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
As I look at your photograph,
Sitting here on my desk,
It's new year's eve and I long for your kiss.
Your big brown eyes,
Your gorgeous lips,
Your big wide smile –
I long for your kiss.
You've made me smile,
You've brought me hope.
When I think of you,
I know I can cope (with all of my troubles).
I always contemplate forever,
I think of us together,
Because in our love I believe.
Yeah,
In our love I have faith.
|
MILES AND MILES
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We may be apart.
Separated by steel,
And miles.
But never at heart .
A silver cord keeps us tethered.
Keeps us together –
Across miles and miles.
|
THE DANCE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Crashing cars
And passing trains.
Shooting stars
Forgotten names.
They fanned the fires
And danced away.
Their deadly dance
Oh sufferers of pain.
With covered ears
Blind folded eyes.
Adorned in tears
That hypnotized.
They danced away
Into the night.
Muffled screams
Of the children's plight.
So dream away,
You forgotten ones.
Dream away
Maybe change will come.
|
FROZEN TUNDRA
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It was snowing,
The wind was blowing.
I was frozen to the bone.
Walking around cold,
Walking around alone –
Just a walkman in my hand,
playing music only my soul could understand.
(And even though I was lost
to the world, I always hoped the sun would come out and melt all of
this snow away.)
Frozen Tundra,
I was going under.
I was drowning under ice.
My body was cold
I never felt more alone –
The walkman slipping from my grip,
music slowing my soul to a drip.
(And even though I was
gone to the world, I always hoped the sun would come out and melt all
of this ice away.) |
E.T.
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I fell hard.
I fell from the stars.
Landing right on my face.
Expanding time and space.
With a bleeding nose,
I speak only in prose.
You'd never guess -
That is unless
You're an alien like me.
|
BETRAYAL OF BETRAYALS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Mother, what could it be?
What could it be that made you turn your back on me?
Father, what did I say?
What did I say to make you turn away?
I was your son.
I was the one -
You chose.
Picked me out of a million,
Like a fish in a barrel full of expectations I could never meet.
I know I strayed and even betrayed.
I chose to go my own way.
What can I say -
Other than you had an obligation to remain my parents.
NO MATTER WHAT.
The betrayed became the betrayer.
Betrayal of betrayals.
And for what?
|
PAIN FREAK
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Was it lust or love?
did it come from deep below,
Or from high above?
Which way did it go?
Was our head on straight,
Or crooked like a wayward arrow -
Missing our hearts, but piercing our hands?
Bleeding our souls into a draining pan.
I didn't want to keep the wound clean.
Festering.
Pestering me more like an itch I couldn't scratch.
Trust me,
I don't want it back.
I need you like I need a heart attack.
But you know me...
I'm a pain freak.
So go get the defibulator.
Just in case.
|
EYE TO EYE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's hard to understand, why there's so much animosity between you and
I.
It's so loud, we can't even hear the screaming trees.
Cut down to their knees.
Because you and me,
We can never see -
Eye to eye.
Why?
Why, oh why?
Why can't we see eye to eye? |
IN THE MORNING DEW
(by Randy E. Halprin)
In the morning dew,
I can see you.
Dripping with sunshine,
On your leaves.
Beaded pearls rolling off of your petals.
You are mine,
Sparkling and pure.
You drip like tears to the grass.
I will enter you soon,
As only soul mates could,
My beautiful soul.
Let me pollinate you.
In the morning dew.
|
MY TERMINAL ILLNESS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I might as well have cancer -
5 to 6 years to live.
My terminal illness,
It takes more than it gives.
Yeah, you can take my life;
You can take my heart,
And take my love.
My terminal illness -
Only so long to go.
What's life without hope?
What's life without the person, you truly love?
I'm shackled to a mistake,
My Death sentence will come.
My terminal illness...
When can I go home?
|
|
MOTHER NATURE DON'T DISCRIMINATE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I hear people talk about God in weirs ways.
"He sent that hurricane to punish the gays!"
But mother nature,
She don't discriminate -
A mudslide,
A pandemic,
An earthquake.
No, mother nature does things her own way.
I hear people shout:
"Oh, it's because of the sin!"
But mother nature,
She just grins.
"Those pesky humans don't know what they're thinkin'",
Because when she hits
Everyone's on her shit list.
|
FILTH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You spill it out.
You sing and shout.
You let it pour out of your filthy mouth.
I've got some dial soap, if you need it. |
CINDY AND HER SECRET MACHINE - Part One
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Cindy has a secret machine
that feeds her dreams and hides her screams.
She's had a secret thought.
that long she's fought.
To be more like her machine.
To grow metallic wings -
And fly away to the stars.
Her pain is real
Alone inside.
No place to call home,
Her parents died.
No one understands her.
They call her strange.
Except her secret machine.
Together they play.
Human hands in metal grip.
They walk,
They jump,
They sing,
And skip...
|
GOING BALD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I
Am
Go
ing
B
A
L
D |
(TITLE UNKNOWN)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
(This song I can't even remember the first verse, but the music is
still in my head and half the lyrics. It was written the summer of
'95, music and lyrics solely by-compose on my keyboard, before I
pawned it. I can't even remember the title to the song.)
First verse unknown...
But you just sit and stare
across the room,
Thinking of things I've done.
Waiting for some one to comfort you.
Losing hope you start to run.
From the lies I told you,
And the games that I played,
And those fake summer smiles,
On those cold winter days.
Oh, please understand,
what I say now, is true:
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't mean to make you cry.
I didn't mean to say those things to you.
Didn't mean to say good bye...
|
LITTLE RED HAIR GIRL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
(This song was written in 1995. One of the very first songs I had
written. The music was written by Dan Kaufman and Randy Halprin.
Lyrics by Randy Halprin.)
Hey you, little red hair
girl,
Where are you going tonight?
Hey you, little brown eyed girl,
I see some sort of fright.
What did I do -
What did I say to you to make you slap my face?
What did I do to make your eyes turn grey?
(And I tried to make you
laugh. I tried to make you smile, but you wouldn't recieve me...)
Watching the cars,
Watching the cars go by,
I stop to check my watch.
Then I realize that it was just yesterday we were together,
Laughing and holding each others hand.
And I know that it won't
be long til we're together forever,
Laughing holding each other.
((But I try to make you
laugh. I try to make you smile, but you won't recieve me...)
|
ANGEL OF DEATH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Up on the hill I see a girl standing, holding hands up into the sky.
The rain falls and thunder crashes around.
I watch her brown hair soaked, glistening in the light that flashes
against the battered sky.
I watch as wings begin to sprout from the blades of her shoulders,
Ripping through her skin and a scream erupts echoing around the hills.
Her new wings white as snow.
She turns around and faces me.
Looks down the hill towards me.
She holds her arms out,
Beckoning me.
New wings breathing, flapping in the dangerous wind.
"Come to me." She whispers.
The wind carrying her words to me.
Possessed,
I walk to her.
I climb the hill and grab her hands as she pulls me to her.
Sepia eyes and blood red lips - oh, those lips,
Those lips,
Those lips...
Her mouth moves towards mine and her wings envelope me,
Drawing me in closer to her as I'm crushed to death.
|
CAVE MAN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I've been wandering.
I've been wandering for days and days.
How do I zone out like this?
Go on trips like this?
Disappear inside my head.
Losing total control of the world around me -
Almost like spelunking,
Lost in a deep dark cave.
I gave and gave...
Everything I had to the point of nearly going mad.
|
SUPER MAN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I wish I was indestuctable.
I wish nothing in this world could
Hurt me.
I wish I was invincible.
Then your sharp edge words could never
Slice apart
My heart.
You would never be able to
Break
Me
Apart
The Way you Do.
|
BUBBLE BOY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Living in a heart shaped bubble,
I didn't want the trouble -
That this love would bring.
Between doubling my problems,
and dealing with reality,
My Heart has burst -
Just like I knew it would.
|
COULD'VE WOULD'VE SHOULD'VE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Could've Would've Should've,
That's what my dad used to say.
Now those words are racking my brain.
Driving through like nails,
Into the membrane.
If only I'd done this.
If only I'd done that.
If only I had another chance...
|
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Her eyes shine like sparkling diamonds.
They've been crystallized,
Caught wide eyed -
Surprised and Beautified.
Could she be any more beautiful than she is right now?
Her metamorphosis into a butterfly.
Her wings spread wide,
she flies away to kiss the nearest flower,
Resting on green stemmed towers -
As the rain falls down,
she bathes herself in cleansing tears of love.
|
I'LL BE EASY TO FORGET
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's much easier for you to move on than me.
You have all of the things in the world to make you forget more easily.
But not me -
I'm kind of stuck with memories not easily suppressed.
But you -
You have a world that will allow you to forget.
Soon you may not even remember my name.
Not that my name will really matter.
After all,
I'll be easy to forget...
|
A WORLD UP IN FLAMES
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Floods.
Hurricanes.
Tsunamis and wars.
I want to cover my ears,
I can't take any more.
Could this be our end?
Our Apocalypse.
Eclipsed -
By all of this madness,
And Eternal sadness.
A loss of lives,
And our loss of love.
As I watch my world go up in flames.
|
SEPTEMBER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
September has never felt so wrong.
I used to be able to sing my birthday song.
But now it's filled with pain and grief.
September will never be the same to me.
September,
A broken home.
September,
Leaves me lost and cold.
September,
All alone.
September,
Left me with nothing to hold.
|
IT'S NEVER EASY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Here I am with my heart in my hands,
Facing you all over again.
For so long we've been playing pretend,
I didn't want to believe that we could ever end.
(It's never easy to say so long. It' never easy to leave alone.)
As I wipe the tears away,
I'll watch you walk away.
I'll hear my heart break -
Echoing,
In our loves death wake...
(It's never easy to say so long. It's never easy to be alone.)
|
EFFIGY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I smell gasoline again.
Smothering me again.
Will you be the first to light the match?
I know, I know -
It was just a little scratch.
But it cut my soul,
It made me bleed,
and it made me scream.
So now you want to pour alcohol and gasoline on me?
Have I become your effigy? |
ALL OF THE TIME
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I can't say what it was about you.
I can't say what it was about you.
The words don't come out right,
I was trembling with fright
(at your beauty).
No words to say what's right to keep you here.
You were like lightning in a bottle.
So we said good night -
one last time.
A bed on fire -
one last time.
You'll always live on in my mind.
You'll always be a part of me -
all the time.
|
NO MORE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
They chased me down,
I'm falling apart,
running around.
I'm just about through with being around,
for the sound of my heart breaking is driving me,
Crazy.
Who am I becoming?
Are these things my fault,
or yours?
Can there ever be a cure to this disease
in which eats me whole?
In which punches holes into my soul?
"No more" I want to cry,
not again, I want to scream.
But it's already taking over me,
poluted my dreams.
Sent blood rushing into the streams of consciousness,
to the point where I have no control anymore.
I can't repair my broken heart.
|
AMNESIA
(by Randy E. Halprin)
My memory has collapsed.
Imploded under stress.
I've forgotten all I've known.
I felt my brain explode.
A little boy ran away.
All that has been wronged can never be right again.
My memory is gone.
I don't know where I belong.
I'm not sure that I really care.
After all,
what can we remember when we're buried in the ground?
|
PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You were tied up in emotions,
wanted to capture the moment -
to live in the present.
But now you want the future,
when the future doesn't include me.
Don't you think I want the future too?
I'm stuck dealing with the present,
living off fumes of a past that is slowly slipping away. |
A FULL MOON
(by Randy E. Halprin)
He has hair growing out of his ears,
out of his mouth,
out of his nose.
His teeth are bearing,
his fangs are flaring,
he's close to sharing his fears with you.
The moon is glowing,
and he knows that you know who he has become.
(The moon is full and bright,
while the world hides in fright.
Tell everyone to say good night,
Bush is on the town tonight.) |
THE GIFT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It fell from the sky.
We couldn't figure out why,
or what it was.
It seemed to be a gift that gives.
A simple box that seemed to live.
With the beat of a heart and the joy of kids.
Something we could all be a part of.
Something that fell from the stars.
It had a glass window that we could all look upon,
But we could only see ourselves.
Who we truly are deep inside,
What secrets that our soul can hide.
And so I took a look,
I read myself just like a book,
Trembling in awe,
Because I looked (Just like you)
Beautiful and pure.
Something we all are,
If we hold love in our hearts.
It whispered, "Love is the Human Cure".
|
UNKEPT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Long after the fact
promises broken
words unkept
clock bells banging
a noose is hanging
we all lied to our selves
thinking it would be better,
this time around.
I never thought it could happen -
that the clouds could pour out so much pain.
All because she walked away.
|
BECAUSE OF YOU
- A Song -
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It couldn't be more perfect.
It couldn't be more wonderful than this.
The days are getting better,
and all I've hoped is in your kiss.
The smiles just keep pouring.
I am no longer running away.
When the sun rises up,
I can finally embrace the day.
Because of you I'm happy,
no more tears stream down my face.
Because of you I see rainbows,
and your love is my saving grace.
Because of you I'm dancing,
I can finally smile at the day.
Because of you I am standing strong,
you've chased my pain away.
It couldn't be a better day.
There couldn't be a better way,
to say how much you've changed me.
Because of you I am happy.
|
DRIFT WOOD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I threw myself to her mercy,
hoping she'd carry me home.
Instead I'm rotting away,
waisting,
a piece of driftwood in the sea.
Will I reach the shore?
It's too far away to see.
All I can see are rolling waves,
marked by seaweed and filth.
Filth I've contributed to.
Maybe I hoped someone would find me,
pick me up,
carve me into something wonderful,
sit me on their shelf,
in their office
(be proud of me).
Instead I'm just out here drifting,
rotting away.
|
BURNING BUSH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Are your ears on fire
oh, burning bush???
A shattered world
up in flames
from broken words
and beasts untamed.
Are your ears on fire?
Do you feel any shame?
For the dreams you've broken?
For the lives you've claimed?
Tell me...!
In whose name
is your claim to fame?
Oh, burning bush. |
ISN'T IT?
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Did you know?
Why was it so?
That the hurt you sow
grows and grows.
The seasons change
as my heart embraced
another ache
on another day
your names not grace
you had to know,
didn't you?
I mean,
it's what you like to sow,
isn't it?
|
CRACKS IN A FISHBOWL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We burned the pictures
in a cracking fishbowl
a February chill
and stories left untold.
We burned the pictures
all for a new beginning
for a love without ending
all starting in a fishbowl.
And as the fishbowl cracked
my pictures turned to flame and ash
the February wind carrying it all away
taking my memories away
leaving me with nothing but a fishbowl
that couldn't hold water anymore.
|
LOUDER THAN WORDS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
"We've got to hold onto the things
that make us smile.
Because we know this life lasts only
a short while.
We've got to hold on,
for things don't last that long
we've got to hold on.
Even if we don't feel that strong",
she said.
So where do we belong?
Why do I have this sense of failure?
How do I remain strong
when you treat me like an unanswered prayer?
Your actions speak louder than words.
You've got to know by now
actions speak louder than words.
That's why I'm asking you how.
|
MUSIC
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sometimes
I wish my
consciousness
was just a floating
note
in a song
being played.
|
NOT TOO FAR AWAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Walk with me by my side.
Then you'll see that we're on the same wave line.
Both riding the same vibes,
in this song called life.
It's not that hard.
No, it's really not too hard to see,
it's not that hard.
No, it's not too far away to see
that thing called hope.
|
NEVER QUITE CAPABLE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Times have changed now.
I'm no longer a little boy,
I try to figure out how -
I grew up without ever being a boy.
I was always expected to be more,
than I was capable of.
As expectations grew,
I lost who I was.
I came unglued.
And now you're through
(with me).
So you see,
I embraced the loser in my mind
something placed there by destiny
(I suppose).
I was never capable of being you,
but I tried as hard as I could.
|
SELECTIVE HEARING
(by Randy E. Halprin)
You thought we would finally see over the horizon.
A new beginning was upon us,
that all would be okay.
Flowers would bloom through this concrete gloom –
love would find it's way.
And forgiveness wouldn't be the double edged sword that it is.
A catch 22.
Damned if I do,
forsaken if I don't.
I chose to ask.
I came unmasked.
I meant it in my heart.
Yet, it still fell upon deaf ears.
|
SORROW THE SPARROW
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sorrow the sparrow took her flight,
all alone in the pitch black night.
With ice on her wings,
forgotten in fright.
Sorrow will you sing for me tonight?
Sorrow the sparrow where are you now?
Have you finally gone South?
Some way - somehow,
you've found a way out.
Sing, sorrow, sing!
A lullaby for our dreams.
Sorrow the sparrow,
will you return to me in spring? |
TRIP THIS LOVE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We trip this love fantastic.
So spastic.
So in awe tonight.
Dreams surround us,
with heavens light above us.
Neon and bright.
We trip this love,
forever aglow,
like angels white snow.
So drastic.
So in awe tonight.
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POISONED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I know it's impossible.
It's unthinkable.
It's a parable of who we are.
Sitting in the ashes of a broken world.
In the hopes of a brave new world.
Where we can finally sleep.
I know it's unfathomable.
Really not tangible.
A parallel of how we are.
Sitting in a ruined world.
A poisoned well of lies. |
MEMORIES OF PAST
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I miss the cool air.
I miss the cool breeze.
I miss the crinkling sound of autumns leaves under our feet.
I miss the blue skies,
soft and light.
We'd put on our sweaters,
walk around until the night fell around us.
Then, we'd tumble to the ground.
Rolling around.
Making out.
As falling stars surrounded us.
I miss the laughter,
and the echo of our joy as it fell down our cheeks.
I miss those tears.
I miss my youth.
I miss those years...
I miss those memories of past.
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SLIPPING THROUGH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I saw sunshine slipping through the cracks.
I saw sunshine slipping through the seams.
In a dark room I share with only ghosts and nightmares and memories.
This ray of light came shining down on me.
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DAD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Where did we go wrong?
Why are we so far apart?
As a little boy,
I looked up so high.
Even though at times,
we never saw eye to eye.
"Daddy!" I yelled on that very first day.
But now you're so far away,
and with you gone I feel so much loss and pain.
If anything has ever been unconditional,
it's been my love for you.
I wish I could be your son again,
because dad, I still love you.
And we could end this division between us -
see that wonderful beginning all the way through.
Dad, I'll shout these words forever:
"I miss and love you!"
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MY VANILLA
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Fall from the sky,
My vanilla.
Cover me with smiles,
My vanilla.
You're good with strawberries,
you taste so sweet.
A treat from the heavens,
you lift me up off my feet.
My vanilla,
will you still love me when I fail?
Will you remain by my side?
Because, my dear vanilla,
you make me feel so good inside.
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LOVE OVER WAR
(by Randy E. Halprin)
As long as we've existed,
this human race.
We will still hurt each other,
spit upon our own face.
We'll bomb in the name of righteousness.
Destroy in the name of God.
Hate we will embrace.
As long as we've been around,
our human race.
We've still not learned to show through actions,
how love is our saving grace.
We fight to preserve our honor.
We kill to show we're true.
And pride comes first -
over me over you.
My hands will fit perfect in yours,
fingers interlocked in yours.
My arms will reach around you,
to form the perfect hug.
It's not too late so start all over,
it's not too late to start a new.
To throw out war.
To say, "I love you".
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INTO SUNSET
(by Randy E. Halprin)
She shouldn't have to kiss him fare well -
only for this time.
A smile and hand upon his face,
a tear to say good bye.
Into sunset she will walk,
and leave him standing in darkness.
Shooting stars and falling sadness.
This night will be good bye. |
FOREVER ALOUD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
These dreams kiss us sweetly in the night,
falling from endless sleep.
Upon restless nightmare you've chased from me.
Free to open our wings,
fly high above the sea of clouds.
Forever in flight,
forever in love,
forever aloud.
Kiss me with your loving lips.
Never let this dream end.
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ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's a shame we should fall on such a beautiful day.
It's a shame we should cry,
or that we should die on such a beautiful day.
You hold me in your
arms,
as we kiss our last kiss.
One last dance.
One last breath.
One last kiss.
Blood pouring from our eyes,
as our hearts flutter and die.
The end is at head;
our love is gone,
our love is dead.
Oh, what a shame!
That this should happen,
that this should end...
On such a beautiful day.
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BLISS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Just a little sip from your lips,
that's all I hope.
A taste.
A touch.
To smell your hair,
to feel your skin,
and hold onto you tightly –
to never let go.
Just a sip.
One little drink.
As we'd slip into bliss.
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TO DIE ALONE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Alone.
Dying inside.
But a smile on the out.
Pretending to be what I'm not.
My happiness a frown away.
I can't quite figure out,
what this all means.
But I know I'm not the child I used to be.
I shall forever age.
Forever fear to die alone.
All these wasted years –
just to die alone.
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STRANGLE HOLD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Like a strangle hold,
you have my heart.
Hands gripped tightly around it.
I'm confused and scared.
Sometimes I don't know what to do,
or where I should run.
But I'm so tired of running away.
Afraid to face the day,
afraid to face the truth.
What more can I do?
I'm hostage to your soul.
I'm in your strangle hold.
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UNTITLED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Love.
It' such an awkward thing.
But we long,
and hope;
we need
and bleed,
aching hearts for such a dream.
No longer safe to hold,
it's a shame we'll have to let go –
and let it fly away like dragon flies.
To drift off into the wind.
Never to be seen again.
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A PRAYER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Everything, I've ever had, has been taken away.
It never seems to change,
it's the same thing every day.
I never expect to hold onto anything too long,
but I hope this time it's not "so long".
If only I had the strength of Job.
And not to curse or blame.
Lord, will you forgive me,
for all I've done wrong?
For living life this way?
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THE DAY DREAMER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm day dreaming again.
I'm floating on the wind,
with arms stretched out like angels –
I think of you.
The stars are your halo,
shines brightly in the night.
Oh, how I wish for just one night.
I think of you,
yours cheeks kissed gently by the sun.
My arms reaching for you –
Please don't run.
In my moments like this,
it's all I can wish,
it's all I can hope.
I think of forever and my own fragility.
(What does forever mean?)
I'm day dreaming of you and me...
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SOMETIMES...
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sometimes I wake up.
Sometimes my minds made up on this.
Sometimes I'm so fed up.
Sometimes I'm so sick of this life.
And I'm so afraid.
And I can't embrace the thought of losing it all,
or taking it away from myself.
And I can't throw the towel in that easy.
No, it's never that easy.
Sometimes I wake up.
Sometimes my minds made up to just lay back down.
To just lay back down and sleep away this life...
But then the sun breaks through,
into this lonely room,
and the thought of you burns strong in my mind.
It's like my first cup of coffee...
And then a song breaks through,
and my thoughts of you won't let me bring myself back down.
Though sometimes I try.
And sometimes I cry.
And sometimes I wonder why life can be this hard.
It's the paths we've made,
and all the bad mistakes,
that weigh us down in life.
Yet, my hope burns strong.
And I will sing a new song in the hopes of me and you.
Even though sometimes,
I wonder why... |
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